well dating is acutally kinda of important too because part of the problem those youth going through is the problem of dating with their parents. so this is really important at least from my point of view. Again as i said i don't want to start a 11 pg disucssion but i think until the church have an offical statement on the topic this topic wll always have 2 sides to it and i will try to read the threat on dating too and see what you guys talked to.
by the way we became a hot topic on the site posts ;D
i know what you mean defender. And i think there is a border to dating. i know Mark and egyprincess are going to kill me and get mad at me for saying this but as long as our church doesn't put out an offical statement about dating so many different opionions (including clergy opinions) are going to come up some which are right and some which are wrong. And each side will have enough evidence to back up their side. By the way Mark don't give up on us yet we all need help understanding all the different topics and issues going around us.
there is no way that we can find a border from our opinions because each and every one of us has different limits and standards. some of our standards or holding hands, some are kissing...some are only limited to not having sex. how do u expect to find their limits --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Defender!
Yes but paulh, when do I sin?? I will get some opinions from the Holy Fathers and Clergy men of the Church about dating and post them too, where do u think the border is paulh, from ur opinion!
well i been going through this issue for a while and i had feelings for a friend from church so i went and asked my priest about dating in general and he said this as long as you are talking to that person for a specific reason which is marriage or wanting to know if that person is who you want to marry that is ok as long as you keep away from the body. Also he added NO AGE constrain on that view or idea of dating. So if somebody else find that my priest and i are wrong by thinking that way plz ask you priest and let us know what you and him think.
ok i would like to raise a question here that you guys might kill me for. But if one of those youth who are my friend come and ask me about dating what should i tell him/her? because if i tell that person dating is wrong and you are not ready for it yet, that might help them or at the other end it might make them just run away from me and not trust me or ask me for advice again and see me as a member of the parents, priest group. Any help on this part??
What I do is that I advice ppl not to date, even if it costs me their trust, because then if I say "ya u should date..", I'll be responible of everything that happens in the date, responsible in front of God and in front of their parents!!!
ya but if i loose the trust than i lost all that i was building and how i was trying to help them. Because i would say no and their parents would say no but u can't control their each move and then they will end up in a deep hole while on the other hand if you tell them keep me updated on everything you guys are saying and what is happening you still have their trusts and you would know that they won't run behind your back doing something else. i know that doesn't sound really right but that is the way i see it. Am i right or wrong or what?
Well, remember, "Behold, I send you out as sheep in the midst of wolves. Therefore be wise as serpents and harmless as doves." (Matthew 10:16)
So, u need to try to convince them they are wrong, and how God is more important, don't just slam it in their face at once, go oene step to another that usually works out for me!!
okayyyy...wfhanna1 i know being a servant is a very difficult especially with youth questioning u all the time, but maybe u should ask for a youth meeting dedicated to this topic and c not only what they're views are on it, but the views of other servants ud be surprised by the responses ud get because youth themselves try to convince other youth not to date, and they are more persuasive becasue they'r going through the same 'life' everyone else their age is going through
so my best advice i can give u is put together even two youth group meetings... one where u c how the kids want to be treated and maybe they can even give u some tips on how to teach them, like how to keep their attention spans longer for u, etc another meeting on dating, first view what they have to say about it, to u and to each toher, then jump in wiht the 1000 reasons we posted lol... also, just a little ending verse from the bible that i really love: check out ecclisiastes 12... sry, but laziness has once more gotten to me!
I'm a teenager, and I think that my friends listen to my advice and to other people's advice more than reading books and all that same with me, I listen to my Spiritual Mentor because he is going through exactly what I'm going through!
See the issue with trying to hold a youth meeting is that i am a servant in the church but not in sunday school. So i am caring about my friends who are my age and younger. I do hold a meeting on the university campus which i attend and we already had talks about dating and all that. I am concered as i said in the first posting in this thread about my friends. Ok some of my friends have the chance to come to the campus meeting while others r not and those are the ones i am concered about. And if i go to the sunday school chair and ask him to hold a meeting with the other servants and with the youth to talk about dating and all those issues. That will create more than one problem: 1) he will ask me with what authority do i have to hold that meeting, 2) If i tell the youth "secrets" to servants who might and might not tell their parents than i am a gonner. Does that make sense?
yes, it makes perfect sense buddy maybe u can ask the priest if u can hold a youth meeting... and then if he says go to the head of the sunday school, ask that guy to hold a meeting.. with what authority? with God's... u dont have to tell anyone any secrets maybe u can use 1 or 2 persons as an example, anymonous of course, and say that the issue with dating needs to be adressed ASAP because the church is becoming a social ground rather than a place of worship... maybe if u let the priest or head of sunday school or other servants realize how big of an issue this is to u, they'll think, wait a minute, if wfhanna1 is talking about it like this... maybe we should hold a meeting get what i mean?
well sms the worse issue is that church is not the dating place, those people are dating americans and others not from my church. Also the chair of sunday school are 60 and 70 i am not saying the they are not doing their jobs they are, and they held a meeting about that issue before but they took the strict way of we are holding a meeting for you guys while we have the idea of no dating period in mind which is the same as the parents. well the kids are doing stuff behind their parents back already and the sunday school chair are adding to that so the kids won't listen. Now to the point if i ask abouna to hold a meeting for the youth the chair of sunday school would go (as done before) you are crossing over my line of serivce in the church and i am not up to that again. I know i sound dramatic but that is how things are in the church
mhmm... ur in a tough position, and i cant really help u there if i went to my priest and told him that we had a dating problem in our church and i asked him to give a meeting... he'd ask me to do what any priest would, go to ur sunday school head... i'd go to him and then tell him that our church NEEDS this and that it's for the good of the FUTURE YOUTH of our church, and that these kids need to understand from not adults, but amongst themselves im not saying the meeting shouldnt be supervised, it should by those SS chairs... but i dont know how i can advise u to get the point across to a 60 or 70 year old that they need to forget that they're egy and realize what this generation is going through and that it takes a young person to help young people, without being insulting towards them... im sry... but i guess the only option we have left is the option thats always there: Prayer God Bless SMS ps... where r u from? i mean what country/state?
hey buddy.... wrong thread about the liturgy book....hehehe... i just have a quick comment... idk who mentioned it (i'm too lazy to quote ppl..hehehe).. but the older generation of the church can't always just be dismissed as old fashioned. sure.. u can argue that when they were young things were different... but how much can the basics of issues change in 50 years? think about it... the same problems that are mentioned in the Bible are still around today... ppl are slow to change. i'm just saying this cuz although the "aged" are usually percieved as just that... "aged".... they've got a lot more going on between their ears than meets the eye... they've got experiences that u can't always just assume never happened because of their age.
Comments
Defender!
thanx
LOL!
Wonder who "suddenly" turned it that way...*snickers*
Defender!
so this is really important at least from my point of view.
Again as i said i don't want to start a 11 pg disucssion but i think until the church have an offical statement on the topic this topic wll always have 2 sides to it
and i will try to read the threat on dating too and see what you guys talked to.
by the way we became a hot topic on the site posts ;D
if still more people are inquiring about dating that means we haven't covered everything, right??
Just a thought!
Defender!
U know what I mean??
Defender
By the way Mark don't give up on us yet we all need help understanding all the different topics and issues going around us.
From my opinion a border has to be decided on, till now I heard a hundred diffrent opinion and it still doesn't show me where the border is!!
Please consider that we haven't covered everything last time or I wouldn't be seeking of where the border is right now!!
Defender!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Paulh
there is no way that we can find a border from our opinions because each and every one of us has different limits and standards. some of our standards or holding hands, some are kissing...some are only limited to not having sex. how do u expect to find their limits
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Defender!
Yes but paulh, when do I sin?? I will get some opinions from the Holy Fathers and Clergy men of the Church about dating and post them too, where do u think the border is paulh, from ur opinion!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
wfhanna1
well i been going through this issue for a while and i had feelings for a friend from church so i went and asked my priest about dating in general and he said this as long as you are talking to that person for a specific reason which is marriage or wanting to know if that person is who you want to marry that is ok as long as you keep away from the body. Also he added NO AGE constrain on that view or idea of dating.
So if somebody else find that my priest and i are wrong by thinking that way plz ask you priest and let us know what you and him think.
Defender!
Any help on this part??
Hope that helps...
Defender!
i know that doesn't sound really right but that is the way i see it. Am i right or wrong or what?
(Matthew 10:16)
So, u need to try to convince them they are wrong, and how God is more important, don't just slam it in their face at once, go oene step to another that usually works out for me!!
defender!
i read ur respond several times but i am still lost
ur friend,
defender
i know being a servant is a very difficult especially with youth questioning u all the time, but maybe u should ask for a youth meeting dedicated to this topic and c not only what they're views are on it, but the views of other servants
ud be surprised by the responses ud get because youth themselves try to convince other youth not to date, and they are more persuasive becasue they'r going through the same 'life' everyone else their age is going through
so my best advice i can give u is put together even two youth group meetings... one where u c how the kids want to be treated and maybe they can even give u some tips on how to teach them, like how to keep their attention spans longer for u, etc
another meeting on dating, first view what they have to say about it, to u and to each toher, then jump in wiht the 1000 reasons we posted lol...
also, just a little ending verse from the bible that i really love:
check out ecclisiastes 12...
sry, but laziness has once more gotten to me!
good point SMS
defender
I am concered as i said in the first posting in this thread about my friends. Ok some of my friends have the chance to come to the campus meeting while others r not and those are the ones i am concered about. And if i go to the sunday school chair and ask him to hold a meeting with the other servants and with the youth to talk about dating and all those issues. That will create more than one problem: 1) he will ask me with what authority do i have to hold that meeting, 2) If i tell the youth "secrets" to servants who might and might not tell their parents than i am a gonner.
Does that make sense?
maybe u can ask the priest if u can hold a youth meeting... and then if he says go to the head of the sunday school, ask that guy to hold a meeting..
with what authority? with God's... u dont have to tell anyone any secrets
maybe u can use 1 or 2 persons as an example, anymonous of course, and say that the issue with dating needs to be adressed ASAP because the church is becoming a social ground rather than a place of worship...
maybe if u let the priest or head of sunday school or other servants realize how big of an issue this is to u, they'll think, wait a minute, if wfhanna1 is talking about it like this... maybe we should hold a meeting
get what i mean?
Now to the point if i ask abouna to hold a meeting for the youth the chair of sunday school would go (as done before) you are crossing over my line of serivce in the church and i am not up to that again.
I know i sound dramatic but that is how things are in the church
if i went to my priest and told him that we had a dating problem in our church and i asked him to give a meeting... he'd ask me to do what any priest would, go to ur sunday school head... i'd go to him and then tell him that our church NEEDS this and that it's for the good of the FUTURE YOUTH of our church, and that these kids need to understand from not adults, but amongst themselves
im not saying the meeting shouldnt be supervised, it should by those SS chairs... but i dont know how i can advise u to get the point across to a 60 or 70 year old that they need to forget that they're egy and realize what this generation is going through and that it takes a young person to help young people, without being insulting towards them...
im sry... but i guess the only option we have left is the option thats always there: Prayer
God Bless
SMS
ps... where r u from? i mean what country/state?
:(
:-[
:-\
:'(
:D....oops
u get the point...
defender
it seems like copts r everywhere nowadays... thats great! lol
gluck with everything
Or if anyone would do me a favor and tell me what's available and I'll mail them the money and they can mail me the book...
Thanks a lot..
Defender
i just have a quick comment... idk who mentioned it (i'm too lazy to quote ppl..hehehe).. but the older generation of the church can't always just be dismissed as old fashioned. sure.. u can argue that when they were young things were different... but how much can the basics of issues change in 50 years? think about it... the same problems that are mentioned in the Bible are still around today... ppl are slow to change. i'm just saying this cuz although the "aged" are usually percieved as just that... "aged".... they've got a lot more going on between their ears than meets the eye... they've got experiences that u can't always just assume never happened because of their age.