SPLIT

Christrules

Hey everyone,

how is everyone?
I had a small problem.
I moved to the church im in about 3 yrs ago this summer.
as time went by i noticed that we split into smaller groups and never mingle
we are not that big of a group, so its not hard getting us together.
The problem lies here:

I am trying my hardest (along with a couple of others) to put the pieces together
but no one seems to want to
whrn we plan something ppl have weird excuses
now i realize they maybe true most of the time
but i dont think all the time it can be
im friends with mostly everyone, and i try to be as much as i can
but i really am finding it hard to be friends with everyone running their own way (im not saying im not) im saying that im trying to go back
and oick things up,

Does anyone have any thoughts on how to start us going out in the big group together?!

Pray for my weakness thank you

mabsoota

i have seen a lot of division in churches  :(
my parents moved house a few times when i was young and i have moved house very many times with work, so i have seen what goes on in a lot of churches, some great things and some not-so-great things.
so i understand your problem. what i am really impressed with is your desire for everyone to be together and closer to God. that is like a shepherd grieving over the scattered sheep.

first i want to say, never give up this desire and this longing for wholeness in the church.

next (obvious, but i'll say it anyway) pray. God know's what's going on in people's hearts, whether it's laziness, boredom, a desire to socialise rather than learn how to live for God, or genuine pain as a result of the foolishness of someone else in the group that leads tham to avoid that person.

we are all tempted at times to give up the struggle of loving our enemies, forgiving our brother, encouraging the weak, rebuking the foolish and being at all times full of the love of God.
it is easier rather, to hang out with our mates, share with them our problems and juicy gossip, receive the reassurance that we are right and our enemies are wrong, sing a few nice taraneem and leave in the safe knowledge that God is on our side and whatever compromises we make don't matter. but this is NOT church as God means it to be.
yes we are meant to enjoy being part of the church of God, it is great to sing God's praises and to hear of His mighty salvation and eternal care for us. but we need also to 'take up our cross' and follow Jesus, our glorious saviour, who suffered to carry out God's almighty plan.
so i wonder if some of the problem in your church is because of people wanting the comfort of church without the hard work. but God will show you more about the cause of this problem when you pray.

thirdly (again, forgive me if i'm being too obvious), discuss the case with abouna. now you don't want to come across as critical, so maybe you want to say something like 'i worry that people aren't making so much as an effort to be together as they once were, what do you think we can do? should we study about this in dars kitaab or do you think there is something i can do?' just ask for some advice and make it clear that you realise you also may be doing something wrong. (i think humility is suggesting you may be wrong when you don't think you are)

fourthly NEVER ever gossip, listen to gossip or allow a friend of yours to gossip without later, privately, telling them off. when we get too comfortable in the Christian life and are not busy as we should be fighting our weakness and spreading the good news of God's love and forgiveness then we get bored and gossip.
GOSSIP IS DOING THE JOB OF THE DEVIL SO HE CAN HAVE A NICE BREAK
i am not, Christrules, suggesting that you gossip. i'm just pointing out that it shouldn't even be tolerated. so if you hear 'this woman treated me really badly and i'm upset' you should say, 'ok, lets not talk about that here, but if you like, we can pray together privately after the meeting so you can find out from God how to rebuild the friendship between you' if the upset person does not want this, then they just want to gossip and you should not let them speak further. matthew 18:15-17 gives very clear advice on what to do when there is a conflict and i see it does not include allowing us to have a general bitch in front of our mates about someone.
i know you didn't mention gossip or ask about it, but in all the many church disasters i have seen, gossip played a major role. i would be surprised to hear no-one gossips in your situation.

finally, remember it is God's problem, not yours, nor even abouna's. we are all called to do what we can to build the kingdom of God, but none of us can force another person to change their mind or behaviour. we can only be channels of God's love and encouragements to those who listen. you may not be able to solve the problem, God just asks from you to do His will for you and leave the rest to Him.

may God give you his grace and support, and pray for me too in my weakness.