i guess yeah it is shocking to read initially but it disappoints me more so than shocks me..... i think our young people are growing too quick and thus assume that they can smooth sail with no drama's and wat i mean is at ones teen they dont realli think about the consequence or how unhealthy it is for them.....they just want the experience and fit in with their peer groups which goes bak to that bible verse which says sumfin about not hanging around non christians....im not saying restrict urself to christian peers but to be cautious and not be easily swayed to adopt their views of thinking ie. sex b4 mariage is ok
The problem is not how much people talk or don't talk, the problem is how well people listen. If women listened more we might find men talked more than we thought, and if men listened they might find that women actually don't talk a lot of rubbish all the time. Some of what we say is actualy valuble
lol interesting comment!!!!! indeed communcation is the key to any form of relationship
[quote author=katz903 link=topic=5582.msg74480#msg74480 date=1184801124] I have been having a hard time understanding why sex before marriage is a very emphasized problem. And lately I am not too sure if I am going to be a virgin when I am married which sometimes I am fine with but others I feel like I would be ruining my life. I already know a few people in my church that aren't, not that I'm saying i should be like them, but they don't seem to think it is a big deal. Some advice would be pretty great because this is an issue I am worried about while being in high school and everything.
Hi there,
look, im sure it wont be hard to give you lots and lots of reasons why adultry from the bible is considered a sin, and as evidenced from other peoples discussions, I think they have covered this point quite well (I hope!)
I would just like to mention one thing, why would a man choose to buy a second hand car if he can afford to buy a new one? I believe that most if not all premarital relations will lead to some form of loss, making a person go from brand new to second hand! not a desirable position!!
My advice, it's the uneasy one: AVOID THIS AT ALL COSTS, grab and keep the blessings of keeping yourself pure not for your future hubby or even yourself but FOR THE LORD'S SAKE.
You will be addicted to lust if you don't. If you sinned repent immediately; but it gets harder and harder every time and you'll give the devil the chances to fight you much harder. You may lose much of your will at the end if you follow the roads of lust. You may hate yourself one day when you discover you've been manipulated just as a mere instrument for pleasure.
And please remember this verse (part in bold, from Acts 5:29) But Peter and the other apostles answered and said: We ought to obey God rather than men.
i too didnt read every post but exactly as Johns2000 says: u will be addicted its like the pringles saying once u pop the fun dont stop...except this isnt fun...i mean sure u'll get pleasure for a couple of minutes but is it worht betraying God I mean i heard htis story: a young man was about ot commit the sin, and as he was about to he looks over hte bed and sees a picture of Christ and immediatley repeants and runsaway. As Christians we have Christ in us...we dont need an icon or a picture he's in our hearts and we should never forget that...
If you could remember the picture of Jesus on the cross and make a quick prayer at temptation time you can train yourself with God's Grace and Help to wisely flee it. Ask the Lord to blind others' eyes from your different behavior, He will help you. Though it is permitted that the devil at times will react, have no fears if you know the Lord supports you. Only the least respectable people will appear to not respect you: big deal.
I have not yet made mention of the bad or the fatal sexually-transmitted diseases that are so much widespread nowadays. It is known to all, the more people will sin and the more they're promiscuous, the more these diseases will spread.
Some would never repent from lust sins unless they get these hard to bear diseases.
Let us pray may God constantly help and protect us, our young ones, our sisters and brethren from all evil. Amen.
[quote author=abkarino22 link=topic=5582.msg74492#msg74492 date=1184807466] think about this something 1 of my servants told me: evey time u have sex or kiss or somthing it is likeletting ur partner take a bite of fruit that u have. if u marry another person u letting them hhave bit from the same fruit.and most people dont want to bite from the same fruit that somebody else ate from. would u?
John_S2000 advises us with wisdom and true compassion.
The fires of lust, once stoked, are often difficult to put out.
You only have to look at the western media to see what happens; women become objects used to sell almost anything. The body is the temple of the Holy Spirit - would you desecrate a temple?
ok, i read something about adultery being sex b4 marriage...in the Bible, Adultery is defined as looking after someone in a lustful manner....that aside, here are some Bible verses on sex in general and before marriage....
Does God care about sexual purity?.... Ezekiel 22:10-16 Where do sexual sins begin?.....Matthew 5:27-30 Can sex be casual?......1 Corinthians 6:13-20 Is sexual immorality improper for Christians?.....Ephesians 5: 1-3 When is sex honorable and pure?........Hebrews 13:4
To get technical: Adultery = sex between two people who are married - but to two other people i.e. being unfaithful to your wife or husband and thus breaking your marriage vows. This breaches a sacrament and is a grave sin.
Fornication = sex outside marriage i.e. neither you nor your sexual partner are married; this is a breach of the teaching of the Church and a sin.
We are commanded to continence before marriage. Sexual activity within marriage is one of His greatest blessings to us, as it brings the next generation of Christians into the world.
[quote author=Anglian link=topic=5582.msg76839#msg76839 date=1189671051] To get technical: Adultery = sex between two people who are married - but to two other people i.e. being unfaithful to your wife or husband and thus breaking your marriage vows. This breaches a sacrament and is a grave sin.
Fornication = sex outside marriage i.e. neither you nor your sexual partner are married; this is a breach of the teaching of the Church and a sin.
sorry to be picky but doesnt adultery also encompass a married person having intercourse with sumone who isnt their lawful partner ie.person they are not married to
Oh dear me ker bear, it seems you have fallen asleep at the wheel. :P
That's pretty much what John was saying. Adultery is when a person, who is married, cheats on their spouse and sleeps with someone else who may or may not also be married.
It would seem as though the western (and I fear that is shorthand for North American) attitude towards sex is infecting our own young people.
Only experience will, alas, convince these young people of the wisdom and compassion of the Church's teaching on these matters. I have seen so many young people damaged emotionally, spiritually and mentally by indulging in premarital sex. What is so very sar is that it is only when it is too late that they will realise what they have lost - and to no gain.
If it be not too indelicate, it reminds me of the headmistress of my daughters' school who had occasion to address the girls because one of their peers had had to leave school because she had become pregnant. She outlined all the bad consquences that would follow: a curtailment of her education, life as a one-parent family, poorer job prospects, etc. 'All', she said, 'for five minutes' pleasure'. One of the mothers present turned to me and said 'Five minutes - gosh, that long then?'
i know a close close friend who has had sex before marriage. he was thought it wasnt a sin because he 'loved' the person. now he regrets its so deeply because it turned out that the relationship was purely physical and ended. now he loves someone through the strength and spirituality of God for their inner being not their physicality. and he regrets not saving himself for them at marriage if that were to ever happen. Just dont do it, dont let yourself be pressured by society, your corrupt church friends or anyone. we live in the world, not the world in us, no one can hold you but yourself.
[quote author=superman23 link=topic=5582.msg77462#msg77462 date=1190672708] i know a close close friend who has had sex before marriage. he was thought it wasnt a sin because he 'loved' the person. now he regrets its so deeply because it turned out that the relationship was purely physical and ended. now he loves someone through the strength and spirituality of God for their inner being not their physicality. and he regrets not saving himself for them at marriage if that were to ever happen. Just dont do it, dont let yourself be pressured by society, your corrupt church friends or anyone. we live in the world, not the world in us, no one can hold you but yourself.
The more we ignore society, the easier to resist. Society is what turns us on and since it never turns off, neither do we. So we have to make it turn off by ignoring it. Do it when you know is the right time (after marriage).
I think everything has been said already, but here are my two pennies:
If you would just look at the consequences of the free sexual moral, how many damage it has caused in the last decades, u'd be simply out of your mind to adapt to these society norms. The devorce rates say it all, premarital sex has bad consequences for your future relationships. A human being has so much potential love to give, and when you scatter it around it's no wonder that it becomes hard to stay with one person all your life. People these days learn to be intimate with one another, and then to break up. When you finally get "serious" with someone and want to settle in marriage, you end up doing what you have practised and learned all your life: you don't need to show commitment, if there's something you don't like about the person or the relation, just switch partners.
How sad this mentality is, and the hartbreaking thing is that the kids suffer most when parents break up!!
Sorry for my rambling hehe. I'll conclude with a wise advice that I always hear from anba Moussa: the best way to prevent pregnancies and STD's is by SAVE SEX ;D
My Church Believes that you have to be a virgin to get married in Holy Matrimony.
If you aren't, then you shouldn't be married with Holy Matrimony with all the order and precision. It's very strict, I believe.
But one guy told me that you could repent.... and could like a virgin again. Actually... that's the way repentance works.... it makes the adulterious a virgin again. Hope God accepts that as an answer! ;D ;D ;D
If you aren't, then you shouldn't be married with Holy Matrimony with all the order and precision. It's very strict, I believe.
The Coptic Orthodox Church rule is:
Previous relations that involved intercourse have to be disclosed to the spouse-to-be and if no discontent with the situation surfaces, the sacrament of matrimony is consumed. Failure to do so before marriage can lead to annullment upheld by the Church should problems related to this situation appear.
If you aren't, then you shouldn't be married with Holy Matrimony with all the order and precision. It's very strict, I believe.
The Coptic Orthodox Church rule is:
Previous relations that involved intercourse have to be disclosed to the spouse-to-be and if no discontent with the situation surfaces, the sacrament of matrimony is consumed. Failure to do so before marriage can lead to annullment upheld by the Church should problems related to this situation appear.
i'm fifteen about to be 16, i have these strong desires and was contemplating it also. JUST LIKE U. for the last month and a half. i've been going to church all the time(b4 i'd go to a saturday or sunday mass and tht'd be it. on Saturday nights i'll go to church choir, Tasbeha and Aishaya instead of a party. When you start going to church ALOT you become closer to God and i realized that i lost 95% of the thoughts and desires. I can walk down the hall in school and not notice the girls walkin by but rather singin a hymn or thinking harder about school. i can be with my friends and when they start a conversation about it, have the bravery and courage through God to say "HEY" and change the subject which in teenage American society today is VERY difficult. so try what i did. see if it helps.
++God Bless++
May He give you the power to stomp on the scorpion and serpent and all other powers of the enemy.
Since prostitutes bond with many men, they become calloused and are unable to form a relationship if they ever try to get married. Think about it this way: Take two pieces of duct tape and put the sticky sides together. It is nearly impossible to pull them apart. However, take two more pieces of tape and start sticking them to other things (the chair, the floor, your clothes, etc.). Now when you put them together, they easily separate. The tape was soiled by its previous contacts. The same thing happens when men and women soil themselves with uncommitted sex.
Of course it is difficult for young men when their hormones begin to rage, but giving into that temptation does not make it go away; in that sense it is like any other drug (and let us face it, if testosterone was a manufactured drug it would be available only under license) and the craving gets worse.
As several of you have shown, following good Christian practice is an excellent way of coping with the temptations, and we are in your debt for sharing these thoughts with us.
I don't get why we have such a big debate about this topic. To me it seems clear.
Every human being wants to live. That's the first point. The second point is, what is the point of living if you do not have someone to share it with. (most of us are getting married someday, except for the few of us who become monks and nuns)
I guess I should rephrase my second point to say, we were created with the need to share life with our spouse.
Almost all of the relationships that lead to the situation described above are very superficial. By superficial I mean that all parts of your life are not being shared, so you are denying part of your life (this could be spiritual, emotional etc.)
If part of our life is denied by the other person in the relationship this will cause a never ending problem, that most people in our society will say, "No relationship is perfect, so you might as well have one." This idea is firmly rejected just by our nature as humans wanting to share life not partly but fully.
While I admit the pressures in society nowadays are far different then from our parents, I believe, and I hope everyone does, that God does not give you more than you can handle, not to say its easy but...
Most of these teenage relationships are so detrimental because at that age you do not know what you are getting your self into. First, our society most of the time gets our priorities messed up. Getting us worried about the other person, so much that this person becomes the priority in our life. That is a BIG MISTAKE. First of all, you are denying the most important thing in your live, GOD. And secondly, you are still growing and still have not finished you career path. He or she will provide a distraction, most of the time, that is like a lead weight chained to you.
God is waiting for your marriage day as much as you are. He is preparing someone for you as we speak. He will have you both ready at the right time, it is up to you growing in all phases of your life (for male to become that God fearing leader and person of responsibility, and for the females to become that God fearing woman that by example is a testament to spiritual life that nourishes the family) Both of these roles are essential and are not made overnight.
Some of you that will read this will say that no one is like this. But "with God all things are possible". He is our guide and leader of our lives, if he is not guiding your life, you will forever have problems that seem impossible to get out of.
[quote author=markos123 link=topic=5582.msg79893#msg79893 date=1196523135] I don't get why we have such a big debate about this topic. To me it seems clear.
Every human being wants to live. That's the first point. The second point is, what is the point of living if you do not have someone to share it with. (most of us are getting married someday, except for the few of us who become monks and nuns)
I guess I should rephrase my second point to say, we were created with the need to share life with our spouse.
We weren't created with a need to share our life with our spouse, but with God. Adam was not created with a spouse. That just shows that our primary need was not a spouse, but rather the spouse was a concession.
This is a forum that allows replies. That is suppose to facilitate correction, elaboration, stimulate thought, and spiritual meditation. There is no need to apologize.
Comments
Thomas,
Fantastic post.
i think our young people are growing too quick and thus assume that they can smooth sail with no drama's and wat i mean is at ones teen they dont realli think about the consequence or how unhealthy it is for them.....they just want the experience and fit in with their peer groups which goes bak to that bible verse which says sumfin about not hanging around non christians....im not saying restrict urself to christian peers but to be cautious and not be easily swayed to adopt their views of thinking ie. sex b4 mariage is ok
lol interesting comment!!!!! indeed communcation is the key to any form of relationship
I have been having a hard time understanding why sex before marriage is a very emphasized problem. And lately I am not too sure if I am going to be a virgin when I am married which sometimes I am fine with but others I feel like I would be ruining my life. I already know a few people in my church that aren't, not that I'm saying i should be like them, but they don't seem to think it is a big deal. Some advice would be pretty great because this is an issue I am worried about while being in high school and everything.
Hi there,
look, im sure it wont be hard to give you lots and lots of reasons why adultry from the bible is considered a sin, and as evidenced from other peoples discussions, I think they have covered this point quite well (I hope!)
I would just like to mention one thing, why would a man choose to buy a second hand car if he can afford to buy a new one?
I believe that most if not all premarital relations will lead to some form of loss, making a person go from brand new to second hand! not a desirable position!!
Regards,
Doogie
My advice, it's the uneasy one: AVOID THIS AT ALL COSTS, grab and keep the blessings of keeping yourself pure not for your future hubby or even yourself but FOR THE LORD'S SAKE.
You will be addicted to lust if you don't. If you sinned repent immediately; but it gets harder and harder every time and you'll give the devil the chances to fight you much harder. You may lose much of your will at the end if you follow the roads of lust. You may hate yourself one day when you discover you've been manipulated just as a mere instrument for pleasure.
And please remember this verse (part in bold, from Acts 5:29)
But Peter and the other apostles answered and said: We ought to obey God rather than men.
GBU
u will be addicted its like the pringles saying
once u pop the fun dont stop...except this isnt fun...i mean sure u'll get pleasure for a couple of minutes but is it worht betraying God
I mean i heard htis story:
a young man was about ot commit the sin, and as he was about to he looks over hte bed and sees a picture of Christ and immediatley repeants and runsaway.
As Christians we have Christ in us...we dont need an icon or a picture he's in our hearts and we should never forget that...
God Bless
I have not yet made mention of the bad or the fatal sexually-transmitted diseases that are so much widespread nowadays. It is known to all, the more people will sin and the more they're promiscuous, the more these diseases will spread.
Some would never repent from lust sins unless they get these hard to bear diseases.
Let us pray may God constantly help and protect us, our young ones, our sisters and brethren from all evil. Amen.
think about this something 1 of my servants told me: evey time u have sex or kiss or somthing it is likeletting ur partner take a bite of fruit that u have. if u marry another person u letting them hhave bit from the same fruit.and most people dont want to bite from the same fruit that somebody else ate from. would u?
i think he is right!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The fires of lust, once stoked, are often difficult to put out.
You only have to look at the western media to see what happens; women become objects used to sell almost anything. The body is the temple of the Holy Spirit - would you desecrate a temple?
Let us indeed pray for those tempted.
In Christ,
Anglian
Does God care about sexual purity?.... Ezekiel 22:10-16
Where do sexual sins begin?.....Matthew 5:27-30
Can sex be casual?......1 Corinthians 6:13-20
Is sexual immorality improper for Christians?.....Ephesians 5: 1-3
When is sex honorable and pure?........Hebrews 13:4
Adultery = sex between two people who are married - but to two other people i.e. being unfaithful to your wife or husband and thus breaking your marriage vows. This breaches a sacrament and is a grave sin.
Fornication = sex outside marriage i.e. neither you nor your sexual partner are married; this is a breach of the teaching of the Church and a sin.
We are commanded to continence before marriage. Sexual activity within marriage is one of His greatest blessings to us, as it brings the next generation of Christians into the world.
In Christ,
Anglian
To get technical:
Adultery = sex between two people who are married - but to two other people i.e. being unfaithful to your wife or husband and thus breaking your marriage vows. This breaches a sacrament and is a grave sin.
Fornication = sex outside marriage i.e. neither you nor your sexual partner are married; this is a breach of the teaching of the Church and a sin.
sorry to be picky but doesnt adultery also encompass a married person having intercourse with sumone who isnt their lawful partner ie.person they are not married to
Oh dear me ker bear, it seems you have fallen asleep at the wheel. :P
That's pretty much what John was saying. Adultery is when a person, who is married, cheats on their spouse and sleeps with someone else who may or may not also be married.
It was indeed.
It would seem as though the western (and I fear that is shorthand for North American) attitude towards sex is infecting our own young people.
Only experience will, alas, convince these young people of the wisdom and compassion of the Church's teaching on these matters. I have seen so many young people damaged emotionally, spiritually and mentally by indulging in premarital sex. What is so very sar is that it is only when it is too late that they will realise what they have lost - and to no gain.
If it be not too indelicate, it reminds me of the headmistress of my daughters' school who had occasion to address the girls because one of their peers had had to leave school because she had become pregnant. She outlined all the bad consquences that would follow: a curtailment of her education, life as a one-parent family, poorer job prospects, etc. 'All', she said, 'for five minutes' pleasure'. One of the mothers present turned to me and said 'Five minutes - gosh, that long then?'
In Christ,
Anglian
i know a close close friend who has had sex before marriage. he was thought it wasnt a sin because he 'loved' the person. now he regrets its so deeply because it turned out that the relationship was purely physical and ended. now he loves someone through the strength and spirituality of God for their inner being not their physicality. and he regrets not saving himself for them at marriage if that were to ever happen. Just dont do it, dont let yourself be pressured by society, your corrupt church friends or anyone. we live in the world, not the world in us, no one can hold you but yourself.
The more we ignore society, the easier to resist. Society is what turns us on and since it never turns off, neither do we. So we have to make it turn off by ignoring it. Do it when you know is the right time (after marriage).
'Sex before marriage?' Just don't do it.
In Christ,
Anglian
If you would just look at the consequences of the free sexual moral, how many damage it has caused in the last decades, u'd be simply out of your mind to adapt to these society norms. The devorce rates say it all, premarital sex has bad consequences for your future relationships. A human being has so much potential love to give, and when you scatter it around it's no wonder that it becomes hard to stay with one person all your life.
People these days learn to be intimate with one another, and then to break up. When you finally get "serious" with someone and want to settle in marriage, you end up doing what you have practised and learned all your life: you don't need to show commitment, if there's something you don't like about the person or the relation, just switch partners.
How sad this mentality is, and the hartbreaking thing is that the kids suffer most when parents break up!!
Sorry for my rambling hehe. I'll conclude with a wise advice that I always hear from anba Moussa: the best way to prevent pregnancies and STD's is by SAVE SEX ;D
If you aren't, then you shouldn't be married with Holy Matrimony with all the order and precision. It's very strict, I believe.
But one guy told me that you could repent.... and could like a virgin again. Actually... that's the way repentance works.... it makes the adulterious a virgin again. Hope God accepts that as an answer! ;D ;D ;D
Previous relations that involved intercourse have to be disclosed to the spouse-to-be and if no discontent with the situation surfaces, the sacrament of matrimony is consumed. Failure to do so before marriage can lead to annullment upheld by the Church should problems related to this situation appear.
Previous relations that involved intercourse have to be disclosed to the spouse-to-be and if no discontent with the situation surfaces, the sacrament of matrimony is consumed. Failure to do so before marriage can lead to annullment upheld by the Church should problems related to this situation appear.
Very nicely put!
Thanks for sharing.
++God Bless++
May He give you the power to stomp on the scorpion and serpent and all other powers of the enemy.
I got that from a site..
Of course it is difficult for young men when their hormones begin to rage, but giving into that temptation does not make it go away; in that sense it is like any other drug (and let us face it, if testosterone was a manufactured drug it would be available only under license) and the craving gets worse.
As several of you have shown, following good Christian practice is an excellent way of coping with the temptations, and we are in your debt for sharing these thoughts with us.
In Christ,
Anglian
Every human being wants to live. That's the first point. The second point is, what is the point of living if you do not have someone to share it with. (most of us are getting married someday, except for the few of us who become monks and nuns)
I guess I should rephrase my second point to say, we were created with the need to share life with our spouse.
Almost all of the relationships that lead to the situation described above are very superficial. By superficial I mean that all parts of your life are not being shared, so you are denying part of your life (this could be spiritual, emotional etc.)
If part of our life is denied by the other person in the relationship this will cause a never ending problem, that most people in our society will say, "No relationship is perfect, so you might as well have one." This idea is firmly rejected just by our nature as humans wanting to share life not partly but fully.
While I admit the pressures in society nowadays are far different then from our parents, I believe, and I hope everyone does, that God does not give you more than you can handle, not to say its easy but...
Most of these teenage relationships are so detrimental because at that age you do not know what you are getting your self into. First, our society most of the time gets our priorities messed up. Getting us worried about the other person, so much that this person becomes the priority in our life. That is a BIG MISTAKE. First of all, you are denying the most important thing in your live, GOD. And secondly, you are still growing and still have not finished you career path. He or she will provide a distraction, most of the time, that is like a lead weight chained to you.
God is waiting for your marriage day as much as you are. He is preparing someone for you as we speak. He will have you both ready at the right time, it is up to you growing in all phases of your life (for male to become that God fearing leader and person of responsibility, and for the females to become that God fearing woman that by example is a testament to spiritual life that nourishes the family) Both of these roles are essential and are not made overnight.
Some of you that will read this will say that no one is like this. But "with God all things are possible". He is our guide and leader of our lives, if he is not guiding your life, you will forever have problems that seem impossible to get out of.
GB
I don't get why we have such a big debate about this topic. To me it seems clear.
Every human being wants to live. That's the first point. The second point is, what is the point of living if you do not have someone to share it with. (most of us are getting married someday, except for the few of us who become monks and nuns)
I guess I should rephrase my second point to say, we were created with the need to share life with our spouse.
We weren't created with a need to share our life with our spouse, but with God. Adam was not created with a spouse. That just shows that our primary need was not a spouse, but rather the spouse was a concession.
You are completely right, God created us with the need for him, no one else.
Sorry for the mistake and confusion
pray for me
GB