Love at a child's age to God and parents is trusting, instinctual, innocent love. At this age we give God and our parents our intellect and will.
When we get older, we have to seek God to know Him. We cannot love what we do not know. To know God is to love God. At least at some level. God reveals Himself to us for us to know Him. As we grow in intellect, we have to give ourselves willingly to God, He won't force Himself on us, as God is the Most Perfect 'Gentleman.' He will only enter where He is sought.
About loving at 16 in a dating relationship. How can you seek to find out about someone else, when at that age you are still finding yourself? I can understand liking someone very much, and caring deeply for them, but loving in the physical, spiritual, mental and emotional sense can only be done by someone who ready for such a giving. At 16, rarely can you find someone so mature. Very rarely.
as we get older, the way we love changes... it goes from childish unknowing love, to giving our intellect and will (mind and spirit) to God
Same thing with relationships. When you are younger you don't have the full intellect to understand what relationship love is about (generally speaking), although you feel a 'type of love' this is different than when you are a grown adult. I am stating this from psychology and experience.
Well I must say we all have our different opinions on this topic. :)......The love we have for God is much more then the love we have for anyone else, it's uncomparable.....However we love God through people as well. Through parents, family, siblings, friends, and potential spouses, etc.... Now in our nature, as human beings, love cannot be controlled, thus yes love can be mistaken ......infatuation and lust are very desceptive!!! However it all comes down to the person, and the maturity level they have. A 16 year old may be able to recognize and understand what love is much more then a 20 year old... I've seen it happen.... Thus it depends on the person, circumstances and experiences not on age believe me:)
hey, the lover kid stopped replying, i think he needs this the most, but heres my 2 cents "love" the way that kid was talking in his original post is superficial, its an emotion, real love is mature not 15, and real love comes from a source which is God, our source from anything is from God whether it be peace, love, hope, faith...all has its source from God, at 15 ur trying to peak puberty, the tru love that a person gives to another for marriage HAS to come from God at the right time, the "mature" time, and whoever gives this love has to have a secure love with God before he can share it with anybody else or else both people will bring each other down spiritually and then there will be no point to the marriage
if this has NOTHING to do with the previous posts, im sorry, i just got lazy to read everybody elses responses salam weh mahaba
hey, this is my first post on tasbeha.org... and i have read this entire thread.. ur opinions are all interesting.. here's mine:
btw i'm 19 and i'm a girl..
I think that a person may go into a relationship and such when they tell their parents and the other person's parents about their feelings toward each other, and their friends as well so everything is out in the open.. they may hang out in groups but not alone.. and they should be close to the same age.. and yes i do agree its wrong when one person is 15 and the other is like 18 or older to be having an attracting relatinship.. cuz theyr going to separate in eveyrthing . in church (uni group vs youth group) and in life.. one is in uni and one is highshcool.. i can see why a person who is 15 or so may feel they like an older person lets say 18 or 19.. it could be they have no other interesting friends their age cuz they could all be immature, or they share many things in common, etc.. many reasons.. the point is... its a big difference for a 15 yr old to liek an 18 or 19 yr old.. but its ok if a 20 yr old havin a relatioship with an older person maybe like 5 yr difference.. but u see what m goin at?? theyve experienced the same things.. mainly goin through uni.. theyr legal adults.. unlike the 15 yr old whos inexperienced.. and yes i do know some 15 yr olds who have been through a lot in life.. but the worst and best is yet to come in life.. 15 is nothing.. its the beginning of puberty per se.. if u dun agree with me.. then ur not thinking logically.. and u need some logic with emotions to control ur actions..
neways, so when two mature people who r close in age and who have at least been through college or uni.. feel that they still have feelings for each other.. even if one is far away from the other, the other person will wait, and if it is really meant to be which is ONLY by God's will and not man's, then God will eventually bring them together in unity forever..
One thing for Lover.. if you truly love this girl as you say u do, then wait for her, dont rush things and if it's God's will, then He will bring u together .. Don't pray that you're forever together, rather pray that God's will be done in your life for both your sakes,,,
because honestly, your situation is very sensitive, any move you make now will assure you losing this girl ,, so dont do anything! that is if you truly care about her and want her to stay close to you.. but again, i say you have to be very patient because you're not ready to committ to her in any way.. just be patient, and if it's meant to be, then God will allow the feelings you have now for her to remain in the future.. and then when you become more mature, you will be able to handle and act on them.. i,e, through engagement..
For now remain good friends, because the saddest and worst thing is to lose a friend..
one comment, some pple mature faster than others and (fact) girls mature faster than guys. Amba Moussa said that there has to be about a 5 year difference for the maturity levels to even out.
[quote author=egprincess link=board=1;threadid=369;start=90#msg6108 date=1089149645] one comment, some pple mature faster than others and (fact) girls mature faster than guys. Amba Moussa said that there has to be about a 5 year difference for the maturity levels to even out.
I agree!!!!
Perhaps, yes!!! a 15 girl year old can have the same maturity level of a 20 year old guy :)
Guys guys,, maturity can mean many things.. can mean shared beliefs,, shared interests.. shared somehting that attracts the two ppl.. However the true meaning of maturity relates to experience.. a 15 yr old girl has not experienced everythign a 20 yr old has.. for example highschool and uni/college.. trust me uni is NOTHING like highshcool .. and i mean theres not a single thing in common.. a person learns so many things about himself/herself durign that time.. its truly an eye opening experience..
and I think its totally wrong and illogical for a 15 yr old to be involved with an 18 or 19 or 20 yr old.. their lives are totally different because their experiences are totally different..
and btw i agree .. i already said b4 some girls mature faster than guys.. but anba moussa did not mean its ok for 15 yr old girl to be involved with 20 yr old man.. thats just totally wrong..
he's referrign to when theyr odler like 30 and 35.. get it ppl?? I hope you ppl dont twist sermons and writing to fit your own personal wants and desires to make what ur doing "ok".. sorry it doesnt work that way...
However guys can be more mature than girls older than them and a huge some of guys are more mature than their age...Plus, a male gets a more determined mind once they're down with pubrty
first of all, eves the one talking to a talking snake, thats the IQ of a peanut, and girls mature 2 years faster than guys because girls hit puberty about 2 years before guys do, but maturity comes with experience, if ive experienced more than a girl my age then heck yea im more advanced, and if I ask God for wisdom and another girl my age didnt and God grants me wisdom then ill def be more advanced, maturity-wise, than the girl
bottom line, don;t get involved with a girl until youve prayed enough to God to know its the right time to start getting to know each other on a 1 to 1 basis, like unconditional love said, its all God's will not ours, HOWEVER i dont agree with u waiting for the girl, live ur life since ur 15 and leave the rest to God, it takes faith though, if its Gods will and uve submitted ur life to God then if its meant to be ull be married to her and ur chances increase if u leave her alone and not give a chance to mess things up, since relationships at a young age do tend to screw stuff like this up, and enjoy ur life, why get into a relationship now and then go through the heart ache of jealousy and stupid fights and parents and abouna telling u no anyway, just save urself the drama and wait till u graduate and finish "uni" as unconditional love kept saying
egyptians have this saying called "eshteree dimaghak" if i translate it it sounds retarded but it means peace of mind, go out with an immature girl and u wont have peace of mind, it comes from experience but u should def learn from others experience cause itll save u head ache and money and trouble and all the above, just live life forget girls for now, go read Proverbs chapter 5 (girls dont read it cause its about u) and Glory be to God forever amen
When you come to a point where all u do is give unconditional love without wanting or expecting anything in return, that when u know it's love. When u put that person before u in every sort of way and want the best for them at all times, thats when u know it's love. When u always find it in your heart to forgive that person and and ur love grows more each day then yesterday thats when u know it's love.
this comment made by frineds, yet again confuses me. I feel all of these feelings and if love has no age... woaa... umm i need helpp
Dear Youst, ur forgetting one thing... r u putting this person before God in ur life? if so, then its the wrogn person, if all u do is think of this person all the time instead of God, then its thewrogn person again..
If this person takes the place of God in ur life... then u definitely know its neither the time nor the person whom God has chosen for you... i know this sounds a bit harsh me sayin all these saying which u prolly dont want to hear or believe esp if u really think that this is the person for you...
I think you need to think of God first... and pray to Him asking guidance without manipulatign ur thoughts to get ur way in things... u can only know God when u start to have a friend relationship with God.. talkto Him as a friend... tell Him all your worries and feelings... God becomes your comforter... also talk to your Father of confession because God uses priests to talk to us since they were chosen for this reason...
i do tihnk aobut him a lot, but hes deffinately not in place of God, im constantly praying to take him out of my daily thoughts, my world doesnt revolve around him anymore, it used ot, but now i tinhk your help and Gods help has helped me realize if hes right, then god ill let him stay along with God himself, if nto then he wont
guys, we r making generalizations here. each person and each case is unique. we cant say that wat worked with one person will work with someone else or everybody else. medicine is the same thing. a doctor doesnt give everybody with the same sickness the same thing, with the same dose. God will decide and do the best for us. i think that we just have to have more faith in him.
its NOT generalizations.. i was speaking to Youst in my last post... Please dont make any assumptions...
These are advice to people and people may take them to heart and may not,, its their choice.. just plz i dont wish u or any one else to be the one who deters ppl who read this from taking the right advice.. then whats the point of having a discussion about havign a gf or bf... just think about it..
m sorry but egyprincess ur last post was uncalled for..
[quote author=Mark423 link=board=1;threadid=369;start=0#msg5011 date=1088287895] Lover, you clearly are infatuated for all the wrong reasons. Talk to a priest, read the threads that Banoub has so wisely suggested, and pray to be guided in the right direction.
Defender, if you had a conversation with lover on AIM, it should stay on AIM. It was a private conversation and it was wrong of you to transfer any of the things you spoke of onto a public forum.
Finally, if you two find it necessary to argue with one another spare us all the anguish and do it privately, we don’t care for any of it.
Stay out of this, u don't have to stick ur nose in everything! You're neither my father nor my Priest..
[quote author=Epsaltos Michael link=board=1;threadid=369;start=105#msg6270 date=1089242697] [quote author=Mark423 link=board=1;threadid=369;start=0#msg5011 date=1088287895] Lover, you clearly are infatuated for all the wrong reasons. Talk to a priest, read the threads that Banoub has so wisely suggested, and pray to be guided in the right direction.
Defender, if you had a conversation with lover on AIM, it should stay on AIM. It was a private conversation and it was wrong of you to transfer any of the things you spoke of onto a public forum.
Finally, if you two find it necessary to argue with one another spare us all the anguish and do it privately, we don’t care for any of it.
Stay out of this, u don't have to stick ur nose in everything! You're neither my father nor my Priest..
Mike
You honestly cannot take critizism in that manner, if youre not open to listening to others opioions then ur in the wrong place looking for answers. the idea is u want pple to "stick their nose in everything" this is a discussion board, and frankly you dont seem open to the idea of others voicing their opioion. If u have a personal issue with someone its disrespectful to them and us to post that infront of everyone where we can all read it.
there are good ways to say things and bad ways to say things... i find the way u said that an example of how not to go about a conflict. but maybe thats just me
o thats ok. i didnt mean that anyway. i dont think so anyway. i just confused myself. i think i need to clear my head. ill come back to u guys when im clearer. sorry :-\
unconditional love is what u should have for EVERYBODY, thats agape, its christian love given to everybody not just the person u talk to all the time
and unconditional love is love granted from God, as humans we arent automatically capable of this which is why we ask God for it, and He grants according to our hearts just as St. Paul says in 1st Corinthians 13 faith hope and love are virtues gifts given to us by the Holy Spirit
Comments
When we get older, we have to seek God to know Him. We cannot love what we do not know. To know God is to love God. At least at some level. God reveals Himself to us for us to know Him. As we grow in intellect, we have to give ourselves willingly to God, He won't force Himself on us, as God is the Most Perfect 'Gentleman.' He will only enter where He is sought.
About loving at 16 in a dating relationship. How can you seek to find out about someone else, when at that age you are still finding yourself? I can understand liking someone very much, and caring deeply for them, but loving in the physical, spiritual, mental and emotional sense can only be done by someone who ready for such a giving. At 16, rarely can you find someone so mature. Very rarely.
mike
Same thing with relationships. When you are younger you don't have the full intellect to understand what relationship love is about (generally speaking), although you feel a 'type of love' this is different than when you are a grown adult. I am stating this from psychology and experience.
Well I must say we all have our different opinions on this topic. :)......The love we have for God is much more then the love we have for anyone else, it's uncomparable.....However we love God through people as well. Through parents, family, siblings, friends, and potential spouses, etc.... Now in our nature, as human beings, love cannot be controlled, thus yes love can be mistaken ......infatuation and lust are very desceptive!!!
However it all comes down to the person, and the maturity level they have. A 16 year old may be able to recognize and understand what love is much more then a 20 year old... I've seen it happen.... Thus it depends on the person, circumstances and experiences not on age believe me:)
"love" the way that kid was talking in his original post is superficial, its an emotion, real love is mature not 15, and real love comes from a source which is God, our source from anything is from God whether it be peace, love, hope, faith...all has its source from God, at 15 ur trying to peak puberty, the tru love that a person gives to another for marriage HAS to come from God at the right time, the "mature" time, and whoever gives this love has to have a secure love with God before he can share it with anybody else or else both people will bring each other down spiritually and then there will be no point to the marriage
if this has NOTHING to do with the previous posts, im sorry, i just got lazy to read everybody elses responses
salam weh mahaba
Mike
btw i'm 19 and i'm a girl..
I think that a person may go into a relationship and such when they tell their parents and the other person's parents about their feelings toward each other, and their friends as well so everything is out in the open.. they may hang out in groups but not alone.. and they should be close to the same age.. and yes i do agree its wrong when one person is 15 and the other is like 18 or older to be having an attracting relatinship.. cuz theyr going to separate in eveyrthing . in church (uni group vs youth group) and in life.. one is in uni and one is highshcool..
i can see why a person who is 15 or so may feel they like an older person lets say 18 or 19.. it could be they have no other interesting friends their age cuz they could all be immature, or they share many things in common, etc.. many reasons..
the point is... its a big difference for a 15 yr old to liek an 18 or 19 yr old.. but its ok if a 20 yr old havin a relatioship with an older person maybe like 5 yr difference.. but u see what m goin at?? theyve experienced the same things.. mainly goin through uni.. theyr legal adults.. unlike the 15 yr old whos inexperienced.. and yes i do know some 15 yr olds who have been through a lot in life.. but the worst and best is yet to come in life.. 15 is nothing.. its the beginning of puberty per se..
if u dun agree with me.. then ur not thinking logically.. and u need some logic with emotions to control ur actions..
neways, so when two mature people who r close in age and who have at least been through college or uni.. feel that they still have feelings for each other.. even if one is far away from the other, the other person will wait, and if it is really meant to be which is ONLY by God's will and not man's, then God will eventually bring them together in unity forever..
One thing for Lover..
if you truly love this girl as you say u do, then wait for her, dont rush things and if it's God's will, then He will bring u together ..
Don't pray that you're forever together, rather pray that God's will be done in your life for both your sakes,,,
because honestly, your situation is very sensitive, any move you make now will assure you losing this girl ,, so dont do anything! that is if you truly care about her and want her to stay close to you..
but again, i say you have to be very patient because you're not ready to committ to her in any way.. just be patient, and if it's meant to be, then God will allow the feelings you have now for her to remain in the future.. and then when you become more mature, you will be able to handle and act on them.. i,e, through engagement..
For now remain good friends, because the saddest and worst thing is to lose a friend..
Goodluck and GBWU (God be with you)
unconditional_love
one comment, some pple mature faster than others and (fact) girls mature faster than guys. Amba Moussa said that there has to be about a 5 year difference for the maturity levels to even out.
I agree!!!!
Perhaps, yes!!! a 15 girl year old can have the same maturity level of a 20 year old guy :)
However the true meaning of maturity relates to experience..
a 15 yr old girl has not experienced everythign a 20 yr old has.. for example highschool and uni/college.. trust me uni is NOTHING like highshcool .. and i mean theres not a single thing in common.. a person learns so many things about himself/herself durign that time.. its truly an eye opening experience..
and I think its totally wrong and illogical for a 15 yr old to be involved with an 18 or 19 or 20 yr old.. their lives are totally different because their experiences are totally different..
and btw i agree .. i already said b4 some girls mature faster than guys.. but anba moussa did not mean its ok for 15 yr old girl to be involved with 20 yr old man.. thats just totally wrong..
he's referrign to when theyr odler like 30 and 35.. get it ppl??
I hope you ppl dont twist sermons and writing to fit your own personal wants and desires to make what ur doing "ok".. sorry it doesnt work that way...
sorry if i offended anyone here,
GBU
God Bless,
Mike
good stuff
night.
bottom line, don;t get involved with a girl until youve prayed enough to God to know its the right time to start getting to know each other on a 1 to 1 basis, like unconditional love said, its all God's will not ours, HOWEVER i dont agree with u waiting for the girl, live ur life since ur 15 and leave the rest to God, it takes faith though, if its Gods will and uve submitted ur life to God then if its meant to be ull be married to her and ur chances increase if u leave her alone and not give a chance to mess things up, since relationships at a young age do tend to screw stuff like this up, and enjoy ur life, why get into a relationship now and then go through the heart ache of jealousy and stupid fights and parents and abouna telling u no anyway, just save urself the drama and wait till u graduate and finish "uni" as unconditional love kept saying
egyptians have this saying called "eshteree dimaghak" if i translate it it sounds retarded but it means peace of mind, go out with an immature girl and u wont have peace of mind, it comes from experience but u should def learn from others experience cause itll save u head ache and money and trouble and all the above, just live life forget girls for now, go read Proverbs chapter 5 (girls dont read it cause its about u)
and Glory be to God forever amen
When u put that person before u in every sort of way and want the best for them at all times, thats when u know it's love.
When u always find it in your heart to forgive that person and and ur love grows more each day then yesterday thats when u know it's love.
this comment made by frineds, yet again confuses me. I feel all of these feelings and if love has no age... woaa... umm i need helpp
If this person takes the place of God in ur life... then u definitely know its neither the time nor the person whom God has chosen for you... i know this sounds a bit harsh me sayin all these saying which u prolly dont want to hear or believe esp if u really think that this is the person for you...
I think you need to think of God first... and pray to Him asking guidance without manipulatign ur thoughts to get ur way in things... u can only know God when u start to have a friend relationship with God.. talkto Him as a friend... tell Him all your worries and feelings... God becomes your comforter... also talk to your Father of confession because God uses priests to talk to us since they were chosen for this reason...
GBU
God will decide and do the best for us. i think that we just have to have more faith in him.
Please dont make any assumptions...
These are advice to people and people may take them to heart and may not,, its their choice..
just plz i dont wish u or any one else to be the one who deters ppl who read this from taking the right advice.. then whats the point of having a discussion about havign a gf or bf...
just think about it..
m sorry but egyprincess ur last post was uncalled for..
pray for me.
Lover, you clearly are infatuated for all the wrong reasons. Talk to a priest, read the threads that Banoub has so wisely suggested, and pray to be guided in the right direction.
Defender, if you had a conversation with lover on AIM, it should stay on AIM. It was a private conversation and it was wrong of you to transfer any of the things you spoke of onto a public forum.
Finally, if you two find it necessary to argue with one another spare us all the anguish and do it privately, we don’t care for any of it.
Stay out of this, u don't have to stick ur nose in everything! You're neither my father nor my Priest..
Mike
[quote author=Mark423 link=board=1;threadid=369;start=0#msg5011 date=1088287895]
Lover, you clearly are infatuated for all the wrong reasons. Talk to a priest, read the threads that Banoub has so wisely suggested, and pray to be guided in the right direction.
Defender, if you had a conversation with lover on AIM, it should stay on AIM. It was a private conversation and it was wrong of you to transfer any of the things you spoke of onto a public forum.
Finally, if you two find it necessary to argue with one another spare us all the anguish and do it privately, we don’t care for any of it.
Stay out of this, u don't have to stick ur nose in everything! You're neither my father nor my Priest..
Mike
You honestly cannot take critizism in that manner, if youre not open to listening to others opioions then ur in the wrong place looking for answers. the idea is u want pple to "stick their nose in everything" this is a discussion board, and frankly you dont seem open to the idea of others voicing their opioion. If u have a personal issue with someone its disrespectful to them and us to post that infront of everyone where we can all read it.
there are good ways to say things and bad ways to say things... i find the way u said that an example of how not to go about a conflict. but maybe thats just me
ASM
sorry for the confusion it was a typo.
unconditional love is what u should have for EVERYBODY, thats agape, its christian love given to everybody not just the person u talk to all the time
and unconditional love is love granted from God, as humans we arent automatically capable of this which is why we ask God for it, and He grants according to our hearts just as St. Paul says in 1st Corinthians 13 faith hope and love are virtues gifts given to us by the Holy Spirit
thats why i chose this name of mine...
just as Jesus gave unconditional love to everyone, we should work for the same thing as He did..
GBU