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the church enviorment

bigeeebigeee
edited December 1969 in Personal Issues
why is it when people walk into church people stare as if they are alliens wheres the love how can someone actually have the guts to do that in church i do not get it the enviorment at times is just unberable

Comments

  • Unknown
    Remember. The people at church are like any community on Earth. There is the good and the less good. Remember that some people can't help starring. After-all they are humans and not angles. I know it is wrong but if it happens to u just ignore them.[quote author=bigeee link=topic=5924.msg79265#msg79265 date=1194705572]
    the enviorment at times is just unberable

    If it gets unbearable then the best thing to do is to be quiet. It always works for me. If you don't want to get involved in an argument etc. then just walkaway and talk to someone else. Remember as a christian you have to bear every one. They are humans like every bodyelse.
    pray 4 me
  • Anglican
    Dear Bigeee,

    Just make an effort to talk to people afterwards and you'll find things change.

    Just because we're Christians doesn't mean we don't have the usual human failings; but it should mean we try harder to overcome them. Persevere.

    In Christ,

    Anglian
  • copticcross3copticcross3
    i know where you're coming from :/
    unfortuantely i notice that it's very common for people at church to quietly glare at others.
    the only thing i can say is..be one less..try to make a difference. you might be the same way without even noticingg..so make a concious effort to not to do the same to other people.
  • mikeforjesusmikeforjesus
    I do not like others staring at me.. but I sometimes do not want to stop staring at others.. I won't stare at others who are alone but I will at others who talk alot to other people and who are in a group.. I expect them to feel safe there...
    I know normally I do not look at girls.. but now sometimes and maybe many more times in the future I like to look at girls reaction to the priests and reaction to me .. and I like to look at their nice calm bodies and pretty faces.. but I think they hate being calm and nice sometimes.. and I think they are angry sometimes..

    I sometimes hate when they think I am a poor lonely guy or if they think im proud and enjoy being alone I hate also their attitute and enjoying giving nasty faces to me or ignoring me or pretending im not there..

    I also look at some guys who are leaders and they hate the attention sometimes.. maybe because I look poor or because I think they are perfect or expect them to be perfect.. sometimes I am afraid for them also and for myself.. because I am afraid that if I stay with others alot I will undergo temptation.. being alone and praying helps..
    did not someone say "My son if you come to serve the LORD prepare yourself for temptation" ? and I am afraid they don't want me in their company anymore because I think I am perfect.. I do not have the social skills to make others feel comfortable with me there.. I know I can repeately say the Jesus prayer and that helps but I think that might not be enough to make me enjoy the company.. being with people I get alot of confusing expressions which I cannot figure out.. and make alot of conclusions in my mind.. I try to make humble conclusions sometimes.. saying the jesus prayer I normally get respect from people though they do not hear me say it most of the time.. but I don't think respect is enough or...
    didn't the bible say "be brotherly affectionate towards one another" ? also "in love esteeming others above(?) yourself" ? did I say the last verse wrong? I think to feel close you need to feel open and unanxious and be able to talk with others about things but not wordly things... I am not convinced that the churches of God are filled with people who do not talk alot of wordly stuff even in church.. and we chirst lovers always just got to sit and bear everything as if we are not human also? I also need love.. and I cannot love unless my anxiety is somehow broken.. but I think I will be this way for a long time maybe because God sent me the spirit of dejection... that my spirit has hope to be saved in the day of the LORD Jesus for I commited many grievous sins in the past.. but I thought God would send others this spirit out of love also..


    Sorry if I overtook your post..



















  • Unknown
    I am not sure what you are expecting from your fellow parishoners? And I am not sure whether you have raised your concerns with them. It's easy to be critical here, with little consequences, but have you told them how you feel?

    Your first paragraph signifies to me that you are have preoccupying thoughts, ones of guilt, anxiety and possiveness. Is that unfair to inferr?

    You express a feeling of lonliness and estrangement. You are scrutinising your relationships, which is not uncommon, but it does show that you have been reflective of this for awhile, and there is a hint of exacerberation in the tone of your post.

    You are indignant at the treatment you have received from your fellow brothers and sisters, claiming that they disrespect you; that they make faces at you (what kind?), and they do not mix with you.

    Then you make explicit the role of anxiety, which perhaps manifests as your preoccupation with scrutinising relationships, appearing eccentric to others (or perhaps the anxiety is because of their reaction to your normal behaviours), and the way you feel to be perceieved by others.

    What I cannot figure out is your usage of the "Jesus prayer", which I perceieve is "Jesus Christ, have mercy upon me upon me, the worst of sinners" or something similar. Why would you use that out loud and expect respect?....Or why do you feel that you need to prove yourself worthy to be with them? Is this the anxiety yet again?

    You bring a few Biblical verses to show frustration of the lack of love that you feel, and you blame both others and yourself (especially your anxiety). You mention a "spirit of dejection", which you plan to use to show forth love.

    Is that all correct?

    I want you to ask your self these questions:

    1) How important is other people's opinion of me
    2) Is my behaviour caused by anxiety, or is anxiety a caused by people's reaction to interacting with you
    3) Are you making others comfortable around you? Is it worth the compromise?
    4) What affection do you expect? Do others get this affection? If so, what is the history of their relationship?
    5) Why would they think you are a "poor lonely guy"? Is it justified if you acknowledge that you feel a lack of love from others?
    6) Are they ignoring you, or are they just not acquanted with you, so they just don't initiate a conversation with a regular stranger?
    7) Do these people who ignore you, ignore others?
    8) when did they start giving nasty faces? How do you react to them? Are you provoking them? Are you encouraging them by reacting to them? Are these friends worth having?

    These are not exhausitive. God be with you Mike.

    Anxiety is a real problem, and you should find ways to deal with it. "Calmness" by H.H. might be a good place to start.

    I really hope that you will find an appropriate brotherly love in your parish.
  • servant of God
    to state it in more simple terms, this is more about you than it is about them.  sometimes, when we're self-conscious, we blow things way out of proportion.  you need to think less about things like this.  it's for your own good (and this is coming from someone who had your same problem).
  • Noosa_1981Noosa_1981
    Do not worry, some people go to church just to look good.  God knows what is really in people's hearts. Just ignore them and concentrate on God and the good.
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