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i need everyones advice! plz
hey guys!
i have a question...
there is a guy who is engaged cause his mother wanted so...he himself has feelings for that girl...at the sam time he has feelings for a guy(!!!)...he is really confused an don't know how to act...the engagement is not fixed (it seems like its gonna break)...he has a really bad past ( he is not old...only 19!) with drugs and alc and many other things.....he now is a really good christian...he belives in jesus christ...he is a copt...
what should i say to him?....i mean he is a very good friend of mine...i dont wanna loose him!
sorry for my english....i usally write and speak german!
waiting for advise!
i have a question...
there is a guy who is engaged cause his mother wanted so...he himself has feelings for that girl...at the sam time he has feelings for a guy(!!!)...he is really confused an don't know how to act...the engagement is not fixed (it seems like its gonna break)...he has a really bad past ( he is not old...only 19!) with drugs and alc and many other things.....he now is a really good christian...he belives in jesus christ...he is a copt...
what should i say to him?....i mean he is a very good friend of mine...i dont wanna loose him!
sorry for my english....i usally write and speak german!
waiting for advise!
Comments
Secondly, I am weak, and i am only suggesting.
My suggestion is that you pray for your friend, that God may direct him to the right path, and my second suggestion is to get him to talk to his father of confession.
Sorry i know it's not much...but i believe that the power of prayer can go a long way.
Peace.
God Bless
As for the girl he should level with her first. He has the duty of making safety checkup lab tests before any commitment with her.
Most importantly, he must accept to be regularly guided by a FOC.
Whether this person is a good Christian or not is not for us to say or decide. We all have failings, we all have faults, we all have temptations and we all have sins. As such, none of us are in any position to gauge how 'good' someone is or isn't. That being said, you friend does face a greater temptation than others, there is no denying that. As everyone has suggested, confiding in an FoC is key. All you can do is pray for them. During this especially holy period of Lent, the combination of prayer and fasting can (and will) work miracles. You should support your friend as much as possible and pray together often. Fasting, during this time especially, will also be of invaluable help. Stick with him. Remember, Christ did send out His disciples two by two. When one was down, the other was there to provide support.
Please pray for me.
You can Pray about it, like many people said.
Also, you friend need to realize that in our egyptian culture there is no such thing as liking a guy, more than friends. If he is engaged to this girl, because his mom wanted too ( that is wrong, being forced into a relationship like that) but you said he likes her so that is good, he should understand that the girl is the right type for him not the guy. About bad past, aslong as he conffes about it and repented then that is good.
;)
pray for me,
hope i helped, pray for me
EgY
there is a guy who is engaged cause his mother wanted so...he himself has feelings for that girl...at the sam time he has feelings for a guy(!!!)...he is really confused an don't know how to act...the engagement is not fixed (it seems like its gonna break)...he has a really bad past ( he is not old...only 19!) with drugs and alc and many other things.....he now is a really good christian...he belives in jesus christ...he is a copt...
what should i say to him?....i mean he is a very good friend of mine...i dont wanna loose him!
is it really necessary to say something?? im certain his aware that having feelings for the same sex is wrong since his christian faith would have taught him so.........this is his journey..........his chance to learn about himself...........i think offering your supprt as a friend is important..........he needs support and assistance more so than a lecture (not that you wud).............but most young people dont want to hear what their doing is wrong...........i dont think he''ll turn out gay, i think he's jus going through a phase of questioning..........perhaps this engagement to this girl is too soon and 19 is young..............you friend needs to fight this temptation and refer more to the bible and seek guidance from his FOc.............but your role as a friend is to supprt him and steer him in the right direction through constructive advice if need be
I think you should tell him to focus on the girl. If he has feelings for a girl, AND feelings for another guy, and on top of it, he's a copt, you should influence him against such homosexual desires. Period.
THere would be no difference if u wrote in and said :"He's in love with a girl, and he wants to kill someone". Its interesting still how such a past with drugs and alcohol could lead to such drammatic changes in his emotions.
AND
ORDINATION OF WOMEN
BY
H.H. POPE SHENOUDA III
ISBN 1 871646 04 9
Homosexuality Is Against Health
I think that in our present day, our Lord God has given us a
grand warning in the form of AIDS. A warning to those who
16
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
subject their bodies to such defilement. Unfortunately people
are no longer fearful, even of such a dreadful disease.
Homosexuality Is Against ManHood
How can a person who is used as a woman be called a man?
He is deprived of his manhood and is not considered to be a
man any longer.
Homosexuality Is Against the Good Name of Christianity
What may be said of Christianity in its supreme ideology?
Christianity teaches the sublime ideas of spirituality. How can
other religions have any idea about this spiritual life if they
know that there is homosexuality in the Church and that the
Church is discussing whether it is wrong or right?
.
.
.
.
The Way to Repentance
Initially, a person who sins may be embarrassed, and cannot
confess to this abomination. However, if that person openly
declares his homosexuality, and begins to seek his rights as a
homosexual, without seeking repentance, and even goes so far
as to ask to be ordained priesthood, then this is an outrage.
22
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
However, if we make it clear to that person that such actions
are sinful and against the will of God, then perhaps his
conscience may act against him, always condemning him and
reproaching him: `You should repent. You must change your
ways'.
.
.
.
The Spiritual Way of Pleasing Others
We cannot flatter people at the expense of the
commandment of God. May I read you one or two verses
from the First Epistle to the Galatians: "For do I now persuade
men, or God? Or do I seek to please men? For if I still
pleased men, I would not be a bondservant of Christ" (Gal. 1:
10). If 1 go on pleasing men in contradiction with the
commandment of God, then I will not be the servant of Christ.
If I want to please men in a correct way, then I should
guide them to repentance. This is the spiritual way of
pleasing others, not to let them stay in sin and perish.
What is the benefit in pleasing other if such pleasure leads
to condemnation? In the heavenly kingdom, in the kingdom of
God, no person who lives in defilement is allowed to enter. No
fornicators, nor sodomites, may enter the kingdom of our Lord,
as is clearly expressed in the teachings of Saint Paul, Saint Jude,
Saint Peter, and many others?
Once I read a book written by one of the clergymen -I do not
want to say, one of the bishops- defending homosexuality. He
began to attack Saint Paul and say that he is abnormal. Can we
please men to the extent where we speak against Apostles?
Against a person that was elected by God Himself in a
21
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
miraculous apparition, and chosen to be the Apostle for the
Gentiles; to be our Apostle, for we were Gentiles. Is it
acceptable that we try to please men, even if it means going
against the teachings of the Lord?
I now return to the first words I said to you. I said I am happy,
I am glad, to be among the persons who are chosen to witness
to the Lord. Our Lord said: "But you shall receive power when
the Holy Spirit has come upon you; and you shall be witnesses
to Me." As for homosexuals, He said that without repentance,
they will perish. This judgement of our Lord was repeated
twice in the chapter of Saint Luke's Gospel, chapter 13, verses 3
and 5. It is written: "I tell you, no; but unless you repent you
will all likewise perish" (v. 3), and in verse 5: "I tell you, no;
but unless you repent you will all likewise perish."
So, can we say to such sinners, to whom our Lord said:
"...unless you repent you will all likewise perish", `no, no, no,
we will find excuses for you. The Church loves you and wants
to search for excuses, so that you may remain in sin and not
perish?' It is not within our power, I repeat, it is not within our
power to justify sins, or to please sinners. Instead, we should
be trying to guide them to repentance.
Thanks for the link. Where can i find this book? How much does it cost?? Its exactly what we need. I think we should publish this on the web in fact.
[quote author=fadihabib link=topic=5075.msg69241#msg69241 date=1175433188]
Quotes from HOMOSEXUALITY
AND
ORDINATION OF WOMEN
BY
H.H. POPE SHENOUDA III
ISBN 1 871646 04 9
Homosexuality Is Against Health
I think that in our present day, our Lord God has given us a
grand warning in the form of AIDS. A warning to those who
16
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
subject their bodies to such defilement. Unfortunately people
are no longer fearful, even of such a dreadful disease.
Homosexuality Is Against ManHood
How can a person who is used as a woman be called a man?
He is deprived of his manhood and is not considered to be a
man any longer.
Homosexuality Is Against the Good Name of Christianity
What may be said of Christianity in its supreme ideology?
Christianity teaches the sublime ideas of spirituality. How can
other religions have any idea about this spiritual life if they
know that there is homosexuality in the Church and that the
Church is discussing whether it is wrong or right?
.
.
.
.
The Way to Repentance
Initially, a person who sins may be embarrassed, and cannot
confess to this abomination. However, if that person openly
declares his homosexuality, and begins to seek his rights as a
homosexual, without seeking repentance, and even goes so far
as to ask to be ordained priesthood, then this is an outrage.
22
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
However, if we make it clear to that person that such actions
are sinful and against the will of God, then perhaps his
conscience may act against him, always condemning him and
reproaching him: `You should repent. You must change your
ways'.
.
.
.
The Spiritual Way of Pleasing Others
We cannot flatter people at the expense of the
commandment of God. May I read you one or two verses
from the First Epistle to the Galatians: "For do I now persuade
men, or God? Or do I seek to please men? For if I still
pleased men, I would not be a bondservant of Christ" (Gal. 1:
10). If 1 go on pleasing men in contradiction with the
commandment of God, then I will not be the servant of Christ.
If I want to please men in a correct way, then I should
guide them to repentance. This is the spiritual way of
pleasing others, not to let them stay in sin and perish.
What is the benefit in pleasing other if such pleasure leads
to condemnation? In the heavenly kingdom, in the kingdom of
God, no person who lives in defilement is allowed to enter. No
fornicators, nor sodomites, may enter the kingdom of our Lord,
as is clearly expressed in the teachings of Saint Paul, Saint Jude,
Saint Peter, and many others?
Once I read a book written by one of the clergymen -I do not
want to say, one of the bishops- defending homosexuality. He
began to attack Saint Paul and say that he is abnormal. Can we
please men to the extent where we speak against Apostles?
Against a person that was elected by God Himself in a
21
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
miraculous apparition, and chosen to be the Apostle for the
Gentiles; to be our Apostle, for we were Gentiles. Is it
acceptable that we try to please men, even if it means going
against the teachings of the Lord?
I now return to the first words I said to you. I said I am happy,
I am glad, to be among the persons who are chosen to witness
to the Lord. Our Lord said: "But you shall receive power when
the Holy Spirit has come upon you; and you shall be witnesses
to Me." As for homosexuals, He said that without repentance,
they will perish. This judgement of our Lord was repeated
twice in the chapter of Saint Luke's Gospel, chapter 13, verses 3
and 5. It is written: "I tell you, no; but unless you repent you
will all likewise perish" (v. 3), and in verse 5: "I tell you, no;
but unless you repent you will all likewise perish."
So, can we say to such sinners, to whom our Lord said:
"...unless you repent you will all likewise perish", `no, no, no,
we will find excuses for you. The Church loves you and wants
to search for excuses, so that you may remain in sin and not
perish?' It is not within our power, I repeat, it is not within our
power to justify sins, or to please sinners. Instead, we should
be trying to guide them to repentance.
http://www.copticchurch.net/topics/pope/
god bless u all my brothers and sisters in god
rabbena ma3akoum
I know you might have had enough already, but I just browsed through your thread now. I won't add much to what has already been said, but as being trained in psychiatry, and especially working in addiction psychiatry before (don't mean that your friend is STILL an addict), I just want to make these points very clear.
SUPPORT, SUPPORT, SUPPORT.
If he is your best friend, take him out of it; if you don't feel that you are able to dissuade him, no problem, just take him to church, and guide him to read the Bible especially in St. Paul's fighting homosexuality. Yes, as a Christian he should know it is wrong, but living in Germany, he might be deceived seeing so many other so-called Chrstians doing the same. It is your role now, and God will of course help you both. For a start, pray for him and for yourself to be strong and wise in handling him dealing with that.
Then, his relationship with the other girl, is only secondary now. It is his choice; don't pressure him too much with it. If he feels he loves her, he will turn to her in good time, when the other problem is over; if he feels she doesn't make that much of a difference it is not worth trying to convince him to stay with her.
Actually, from a medical point of view, AIDS doesn't necessarily come in homosexuals, but rather hepatitis B is more common; not any better of course. God bless him and strengthn you, and please pray for me a lot.