For privacy's sake, there is Person A and Person B. Person A is really close to person B. B caught A having an online affair with someone else (saying i love you baby and send me a pic of you etc.). B is not sure if it is just online or real life. A is not supposed to be doing this considered being brought up by a good God Loving family. B also caught A on "bad picture sites" (I dont like using the real name) and was completely shocked. Person A is 18 and is surprisingly almost finished with Servants Prep. They have been drifiting away from the church lately (skipping youth meetings, not attending liturgies etc). Person B is 16 and is the opposite gender of A if that helps in anyway. B does not know whether to tell Person A's Mom because she gets scared over very little things. One time on vacation, Person A left the hotel room at 3 A.M. and didnt answer their phone. A's parents couldnt find them and were about to call the police because the hotel was a casino and it was a holiday so bad things could have happened. A's mom was about to have a heart attack and was screaming and crying. B does not want this to happen again nor do they want A to hate them. What should B do???? It has been a long time since B found out what was going on and it is still continuing. Thanks
Comments
Well it certainly looks like A is encountering some problems...
First and foremost B should pray for A - its such a small things in the eyes of many, and easily forgotten, but I can promise you every promise, prayer can and does move mountains. A heartfelt prayer, poured like pure spikenard before God its pleasing aroma ascending to the heavens is heard by God, and answered. If B should pray continually for A, asking God's mercies and power in changing the heart of A and returning to his Father's house then B has saved A.
Next, a talk between B and A is in order. B has to sit with A in all seriousness and explain to A the danger of his position. There is no dumbing down the seriousness - pornography is the Devil's iconography. Masturbation is another form of adultery - a crime so heinous that those guilty of it were put to death in the Old Testament. B has to explain to A that it is like a drug - so addictive and so desirable at first. But it quickly loses his pleasure and turns to bitterness inside the person. Or even worse, if it is pursued for a long period of time it can lead to the hardening of the heart - to the point where the sin itself gives no satisfaction, and A will not be able to even feel remorse - making repentance so much more difficult. Whats more, it affects the purity of the heart - it makes a person unclean. If we take A's previous condition - preparing to be a Church servant, from a good God-fearing family and compare it to his position now, its like comparing white robes to soiled ones. Soiled robes that must and can only be cleaned in the Blood of Christ. B needs to explain this to A, to explain the MAGNITUDE of the sin. This will hopefully bring A back to their senses, when he sits quietly by themself before God, and PRAYS and realise how low they have sunken.
B must encourage A to confess to his FOC - AS SOON AS POSSIBLE, BEFORE THE SIN GETS WORSE! The escalation is severe, and if doesn't stop now, the chances of A returning CONTINUE TO DECREASE.
I would advise against B telling A's mother at the moment, based on the fact that she may overreact (as she has done over small things). For now. If however, A refuses to stop, then B has a duty to A because of how close they are to inform A's mother. This is much, much better than remaining silent and allowing A is sink lower and lower into the mire.
May God remember his infinite mercies to his children, and forgive their shortcomings:
"All that the Father gives Me will come to Me, and the one who comes to Me I will by no means cast out." (John 6:37)
"Do not rejoice over me my enemy; When I fall, I will arise; When I sit in darkness, the Lord will be a light to me" (Micah 7:8)
pray for me
joe
neshkor Allah akhadna el baraka
I think Person A should focus on their Salvation and person B should focus on their salvation separately...
neshkor Allah akhadna el baraka
so you are saying that if someone is falling and i see them falling, i shouldn't help them be lifted up???
I know B needs to help A but B does not know which way to approach it
B or C or D cannot help A except by the permission of God... plus look at the ages... how can someone at this age help someone, while they themselves need help? also due to the genders, its a great invitation for the devil to help!
First, pray for that person, put their name on the altar...
second, talk to abouna about it... and abouna will send the qualified person to seek them through the guidance of the Holy Spirit...
but A does not need to help B, or B need to help A...
Neshkor Allah akhadna el barka!
yes... I am saying that... if someone knows they are doing wrong, and doesn't want to fix their ways what can we do? we have this thing called the cape effect... we want to be the superheros (hence on of the reasons for my name) we think we can help everyone, and do the impossible, without the help of the one who does the impossible!
B or C or D cannot help A except by the permission of God... plus look at the ages... how can someone at this age help someone, while they themselves need help? also due to the genders, its a great invitation for the devil to help!
First, pray for that person, put their name on the altar...
second, talk to abouna about it... and abouna will send the qualified person to seek them through the guidance of the Holy Spirit...
but A does not need to help B, or B need to help A...
Neshkor Allah akhadna el barka!
and would anything change if A and B were siblings?
yes, by now its acceptable for her to talk to him, and openly tell him whats wrong and right in generic format... WITHOUT JUDGING HIM!!!
and also no... because if she focuses on her salvation, he will see her good works, and slowly learn from her... sadly I will say this... better lose one than losing two!
but pray and pray and pray... and keep the topic still in front of abouna... a guy would rather be led by an older male, rather than a younger person who happens to be a female, especially his sister!
neshkor Allah, akhadna el baraka!!
i agree with SuperMAN(BAM) that B has to let abouna know then God will make a way.
remember me in ur prayer
If I were in Person B's shoes, I would try and look for the cause of all this: Is it bad companionship outside the family? Is it lack of attention given to her in the family? Is it lack of respect for parents? Is she trying to fill a hole but going the wrong way about it? Is she bored or feeling cooped up? Is she filling herself with bad messages from secular music? Once I can identify the cause I can try and minimise the cause. For example if it is bad companionship I would try to introduce her to good friends at church.
God showed you these things about her for a reason. I would try and show her love and pray for her as Joe said to realise her issues and come to repentance. If she doesn't come to repentance and seems to be worse: Joe gave good advice regarding this because desperate times call for desperate measures.
At the same time, because B is younger than A, it is important to also keep a focus on one's own salvation through practicing love and prayer for person B.
Ekhristos Anesty
thats a really big favor
& does person a not ever open up to u?
maybe try to get closer to him more...attract him to God and
also try talking with him...i would also tell abouna...he might
give u good advice =]
A is the Older Sister and B is the younger brother (deacon).
I should have included that before. Thanks guys. Pray for me!
you sometimes need to be there for a person and sometimes you do not
continue to find out the right thing to do
we need to care about all people
you can keep praying as st john says
it may be right to talk to her... you must find out somehow what to do
adultery is a big sin. She must leave the dangerous path
So my advice to person B is to pray wholeheartedly and to go to either their foc and ask what they should do (without naming names if they want) or go to person A's foc if B is comfortable with that.
everything will turn out :)
God showed you these things about her for a reason. I would try and show her love and pray for her as Joe said to realise her issues and come to repentance. If she doesn't come to repentance and seems to be worse: Joe gave good advice regarding this because desperate times call for desperate measures.
At the same time, because B is younger than A, it is important to also keep a focus on one's own salvation through practicing love and prayer for person B.
you said "if she doesnt come to repentance...desperate times call for desperate measures", i disagree because by prayer and faith we can move mountains...let God change their heart, He can do everything..dont tell her that this is bad and stuff because im sure they know, just fill her with Godly talk and get them involved in church and such, and their desires will by time change..