i personally think it is fine. however, if something is going on then it is wronng. lke if u for an example were standing w/ all ur frends and stuff then that s fine. even ubouna said it was k. unless........ bii
I don't think that females and males talking is wrong. Maybe why the adults gossip and get involved with it so much is because they are worried. I mean they see the things that girls and boys do together out in the world, how could you expect them not to be paranoid? They want to protect their 'children' from all these evils, but sometimes they do go overboard. I agree. Try to explain to the person that all that you are doing is in purity. Maybe that will help.
[quote author=baladoos link=board=13;threadid=4565;start=15#msg62909 date=1162968510] . . . Also there are other things that the servants done, they don't want us boys and girls to go for movies, for swimming.......etc, again why is that??? and if we do so, you find them the first people to run to abouna to talk to him and tell him: Abouna guess what happened.....etc. my question really now: do you guys find the same problems that I face or is it just me??? please tell me your opinion
Baladoos
I'm not sure about the swimming, because that may cause lust, but I don't think there is anything wrong with females and males going out in groups as long as it is pure. And you have to make sure that the other people don't look at it in an impure way, not just yourself. I mean you wouldn't want to cause anyone to fall into temptation or sin because of you.
I just want to add something. In Arizona USA, infront of the church guys and girls talk and hug and do all kinds of things. I think that it's wrong for them to do that but if they aren't doing anything wrong then they shouldn't worry.
I do not see anything wrong with girls talking to boys after church. However, if it comes to a point where a specfic girl and a boy always leave a group and are always seen talking to each other alone, then we have a problem. For example, there was a guy and a girl who were always friends between a group (always talked to each other within a group), then all of a sudden, the girl and the boy were started being spotted talking to each other alone by themselves, and after a while, even while hanging out within a group, started to touch each other. No one saw anything wrong with it because they kept on saying that there is nothing going on because they have known each other for a long time and are basically brohter and sister. It turns out that for a while all of a sudden they were never seen again in the church because the girl had gotten pregnant by the boy and did not want to show her face in public again.
So again, I do not see anything wrong but there has to be a limit to how or where they are talking to each other (like talking within a group of people, etc...)
I think its alright for a guy and a girl to have there own conversation within a group. Leaving that group is definatley wrong cause like Bishop Mousa said (parraphrased) when a girl and a guy is alone then the devil is with them too.
I think also the length and content of that conversation is important too... like mentioned before... flirting is definitely wrong... but where is the line between a normal conversation and flirting... (thats a hard one, i'll leave someone else to discuss this). If you talk with a girl for a long while in a group ignoring everyone else then that will definitely put both of you in an awkward situation in front of other people.
Lastly I think also the age is significant. Youth that are still adolescence and still growing out of the child hood age generally are not interested in the opposite sex besides having girlfriend and boyfriend like other teenagers in society. So I think that it's best that they try not to get too involved with conversations with the opposite sex as they are going under a lot of pressure from there peers, there bodies, and society.
I do think however that Youth that are in the age leading to marriage should communicate with the opposite sex more frequently in groups. This is firstly good since you have passed that age where you have now matured and the pressure around you has decreased. It also helps you to understand the opposite sex better and build up friends with more people. Finally, one day you will need to make a decision based on the friendships you've built up, to choose a partner for life.
Back to the original question of talking with girls/boys in church ground. I personally would not differentiate between inside or outside the church. If you think its wrong to do something in church ground in front of everyone else then it's probably wrong to do it outside of church too.
The youth speaking to each other is definetly ok. There is no problem at all speaking in a group or alone with the opposite gender. People say when you are speaking to a guy or girls alone the devil is also present... i dont believe that this is true. Are we not at church to learn how to fight the devil, heritics and those who question our faith? Are we not there to learn how to overcome temptations like these? Are we not also at the house of God where He is present at all times and fills all? Being friends with a guy or girl and just talking hanging out is no big deal. i think everyone is fine and there is no age when its ok to talk to the opposite gender. Honeslty I'm a guy and I speak with and know a lot of the girls in my church and nothing is going on. I don't see a reason for anyone to think it is wrong except for the fact the we being egyptains are blinded by our culture to see the goodness of something. Our culture teaches us everything that is wrong and shows us what is bad in everything but it fails to see the benefit in everything. There is know harm in a conversation alone with the opposite gender. Especially when we kno God is right there beside us.
well the thing i dont like is people judging others and putting labels on each other like for example people that see a girl and boy some people would be like wow there talking i think they like each other...that to me is wrong... cuz first theres nothing wrong talking to a boy or girl UNLESS theres something going on with each other..then thats a problem.we shoulnt be judging each other and then say if were talking in a group i also thinks its okay that were all friends from church and were all tlaking to each other which is fine but if there is something going on or if u have another idea going on in ur mind watch out cuz the devil will get u and tempt u.
your parents are just afraid of people talking about you they dont want ppl to get suspicious about you, if girls and guys are just talking, there isnothing wrong with that if they are flirting then there is something wrong with that and i agree with baladoos egyptian people do gossip a lot, if they see a girl talking to a guy they are going to think that they are together [which this is wrong 99.999999% of the time
personally...i dont really see anything with guys talkin 2 girls at church or vice versa...if they are doing it in the open then theres obviously nth wrong with what they are doing...i understand that sometimes adults talk and stuff..but thts when its done too too much and alone..but as long as u r in a group they wont say anything cuz theres nothing wrong with it...and everyone at church is like our brothers and sisters
Hi everyone i have read most of your replies sry i have not read all of them however i have a solution to some people, sry if it cant help all of u out there. If you enjoy the company of the youth in your church you should attand the youth meetings. Its great because its only the youth and you get to talk about topics that are of interest to you and that concern youth society of our culture. there is no one there who will say oh my gosh look who is talking to who. folan we folan are talking. And u learn alot about ur self and ur church. I highly recommend it.
i think that boys should be aloud to talk to girls and girls be aloud to talk to boys. some churches don't approve of it because they do think something is going on. but they should trust u until they find something really going wrong. if they do then they have the rite to not approve the boys be talking to the girls and the girls be talking to the boys.
[move][center]boys takling to girls in church is not a problem [/center] [/move] jus b/c they talk dosent mean there is somehting going on but if there is somthing personal thats against the church it would be wrong butmainly it not a sin if a boy talks to a girl in church
ofcourse theres nothing wrong with them talking. unless its flirting. clearly a huge difference. always worry about how your actions are percieved and if you cant do anything to block people from getting bad thoughts of you then as long as your not doing wrong its ok. in EGYPT at the church there guys and girls ALWAYS talk, i went and there always talking. but in a group. if its alone it looks bad. we cant blame people for their thoughts, were in the blame if we provoke it by our reckless actions. u wana talk, talk in a group.
Comments
bii
but if u think sumting is going on
i think u should prevent the girls from talking 2 boys
Maybe why the adults gossip and get involved with it so much is because they are worried. I mean they see the things that girls and boys do together out in the world, how could you expect them not to be paranoid? They want to protect their 'children' from all these evils, but sometimes they do go overboard. I agree. Try to explain to the person that all that you are doing is in purity. Maybe that will help.
. . . Also there are other things that the servants done, they don't want us boys and girls to go for movies, for swimming.......etc, again why is that??? and if we do so, you find them the first people to run to abouna to talk to him and tell him: Abouna guess what happened.....etc. my question really now: do you guys find the same problems that I face or is it just me??? please tell me your opinion
Baladoos
I'm not sure about the swimming, because that may cause lust, but I don't think there is anything wrong with females and males going out in groups as long as it is pure. And you have to make sure that the other people don't look at it in an impure way, not just yourself. I mean you wouldn't want to cause anyone to fall into temptation or sin because of you.
So again, I do not see anything wrong but there has to be a limit to how or where they are talking to each other (like talking within a group of people, etc...)
I think also the length and content of that conversation is important too... like mentioned before... flirting is definitely wrong... but where is the line between a normal conversation and flirting... (thats a hard one, i'll leave someone else to discuss this). If you talk with a girl for a long while in a group ignoring everyone else then that will definitely put both of you in an awkward situation in front of other people.
Lastly I think also the age is significant. Youth that are still adolescence and still growing out of the child hood age generally are not interested in the opposite sex besides having girlfriend and boyfriend like other teenagers in society. So I think that it's best that they try not to get too involved with conversations with the opposite sex as they are going under a lot of pressure from there peers, there bodies, and society.
I do think however that Youth that are in the age leading to marriage should communicate with the opposite sex more frequently in groups. This is firstly good since you have passed that age where you have now matured and the pressure around you has decreased. It also helps you to understand the opposite sex better and build up friends with more people. Finally, one day you will need to make a decision based on the friendships you've built up, to choose a partner for life.
Back to the original question of talking with girls/boys in church ground. I personally would not differentiate between inside or outside the church. If you think its wrong to do something in church ground in front of everyone else then it's probably wrong to do it outside of church too.
well the thing i dont like is people judging others and putting labels on each other like for example people that see a girl and boy some people would be like wow there talking i think they like each other...that to me is wrong... cuz first theres nothing wrong talking to a boy or girl UNLESS theres something going on with each other..then thats a problem.we shoulnt be judging each other and then say if were talking in a group i also thinks its okay that were all friends from church and were all tlaking to each other which is fine but if there is something going on or if u have another idea going on in ur mind watch out cuz the devil will get u and tempt u.
pray for my weakness...
mary
hope i helped, pray for me
EgY
RBNA MA3AKOM
btw i'm currently dating this lovely girl in my church
;) ;)
jus b/c they talk dosent mean there is somehting going on but if there is somthing personal thats against the church it would be wrong butmainly it not a sin if a boy talks to a girl in church
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