Wisdom

Comments

• ophadece

  January 3

  Dear @Kimberly,
  Knowing what I will say now may not answer any questions, but it should be our sole goal from every confusion in life. We need to pray fervently..
  Secondly, if you go to Egypt, where will you stay? Do you have means for providing for yourself? Is the ceremony an engagement or marriage? Do you have friends or family who may be able to contact you whilst you're in Egypt?
  God bless you and bless all what your hands reach out for..
  Ⲟⲩϫⲁⲓ ϧⲉⲛ ⲡϭⲥ
• Kimberly

  January 3

  His sister has offered her home but if I were to stay longer, i would be with him and it would be a marriage ceremony and I do not know anyone in Egypt. Thank you God bless you too.
• mabsoota

  January 4

  hi sis, i will write you a personal message, but here are some general principles:

  1. life (whether single, married or monastic) is a place where you can prepare for heaven.

  there are evil forces to resist (temptation to sin, to despair etc.) and blessings to obtain (like when you are fasting and praying and giving to the poor).

  your life should be one of continually trying to be like our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ and of also helping those around you to grow spiritually (this does not mean making them dependent on you). life involves suffering (poverty, cold, hunger etc) which is a normal part of life, and accepting that life can be hard is part of getting closer to God and depending on him.

  life is not about minising suffering, getting rich, fat, or successful, as that does not prepare you for heaven.

  also it is normal to work in order to gain physical benefits (like food and warmth) and also to have a little left over so you can give to the poor. it is not normal to become dependent on someone else for food and shelter (unless you become disabled, then it is part of you accepting life and growing spiritually).

  2. because of no1 above, the whole planet should not be trying to get into the countries that are perceived to be more successful in order to make money. of course, it is normal to flee when your circumstances are very dangerous, or you are one of 90% people who are unemployed in your area and you are not intellectual enough or weathy enough to buy up agricultural land, start irrigating and helping the local workers feed themselves and their neighbours. 

  it is generally not good for a country for a very large proportion of the educated people to leave and go and live somewhere else. that is called 'brain drain' and is a big problem in east europe and south east asia. rich countries profit a lot from this and this is why most books about migration are writen by rich people in rich countries where 'we' welcome 'them'.

  migrants are not expeted to be reading books about themselves - this is a bit patronising as it is assumed they don't think about this topic or read about it.

  generally i recommend that a person considering migration to think about all these issues and to consider what reason there is for moving to another coountry.

  for example, i know an east european person who recently went to live in south korea. she had some issues with her childhood that made it difficult for her to live in her country of origin.

  she had the opportunity to learn korean for many years and developed a big love for the coutry.

  she then found a job teaching children (that she wanted to do for ages) so she went to take up the job. she aims to improve the lives of the people she teaches and also to learn more about the people around her. 

  i think this is a good example that shows that the person has taken a lot of care to make plans before moving countries.

  these are the sort of ideas that can help you plan, i will write more to you personally privately (so you can reply to me if i get the wrong idea).
• Kimberly

  January 5

  I will not be moving to his country but visiting possibly staying for a period of time for us to get to know each other
• ophadece

  January 5

  God bless you and bless all what your hands reach out for dear @Kimberly - I guess I have nothing to add after what @mabsoota has said but I am an Egyptian who emigrated to the UK more than 20 years ago, before I married someone from Egypt.. So if I can be of any further help please let me know..
  Ⲟⲩϫⲁⲓ ϧⲉⲛ ⲡϭⲥ
• Kimberly

  January 6

  Thank you very much! Yes, please! Can you tell me more about the men in the orthodox community? What would cause one to go outside his church and culture to marry or even consider marriage? May the Lord bless you abundantly!
• ophadece

  January 7

  Hi @Kimberly,
  God bless you in every step of the way.
  
  It goes without saying that I don't know the person who is proposing to you, or who would like to get to know you. Moreover, I may come across as a knowledgeable person but I would hate for you to just take my opinion for granted.. It is just an opinion and I have always learnt that it is better to take opinions of many people, not just one person.
  
  In all communities there are good people and bad people. However, most Coptic Christians are genuine, sincere and loving (loyal of course as well as loveable) and they always look for the best for them including leaving the country. Yet, Egyptians generally are sometimes oblivious to cultural differences and they don't think deeply about compatibility issues, something which makes things not very easy or straightforward in a minority of relationships - however, most are meek and kind-hearted and wouldn't forsake their vows or God's commandments. So even when they seek to be in a relationship for the purpose of the green card, they are genuine and trustworthy in general.
  
  The situation is so dire in Egypt. People seriously struggle very arduously to make ends meet and with increasing financial pressures all the time, they can't get the basic of the basics sometimes. There is no social equality or justice, and that is especially true for Christians undoubtedly. This is getting worse and worse to make it the norm nowadays to flee the country, sometimes through illegal means.. I guess it is commendable what that person is trying to do so that he secures a good standard of living and aspire to live in better circumstances. That said, again Egyptians may sometimes have a flawed view of the West that it is as straightforward as you put in the effort, you reap the benefits, not paying much attention to the many other factors that may make such a correct motto, practically fraught with risk, sacrifice (too much sometimes) and repeated disappointment before finding the right path eventually.
  
  I have talked so much, but I hope that I managed to shed some light on the general aspects of the when and why!
  
  God bless you and bless all what your hands reach out for..
  Ⲟⲩϫⲁⲓ ϧⲉⲛ ⲡϭⲥ
• Kimberly

  January 7

  Thank you for your response, it has been very enlightening...he has talked to me openly about the conditions in Egypt but says he does not want to leave his family and friends and has asked me to consider staying with him if I like Egypt but I told him we could live in both places and this way, no one is giving up the home they love because I love my country too but want to be with him...
  
  Are you possibly saying he would consider going outside of his culture with me abd our age difference for a green card? It good to know he is genuine and loyal, it's reassuring.
  
  You have shed much light on the subject thank you!
  
  May the Lord bless you in all you do!
• ophadece

  January 7

  Dear @Kimberly,
  I am seriously not making any assumptions, but I would like to make it clear that what you are telling me now that he has said is even more reassuring, ie, to invite you to live in Egypt if you like it with him and his family. The offer you made him is beyond sensible, very practical, and expresses sincerity (and perhaps admiration) in its own right and I am sure he will agree.. The more I get to know such details, the more I love your story.. MAY GOD BLESS YOU AND BLESS ALL WHAT YOUR HANDS REACH OUT FOR.. THAT IS FIRST AND FOREMOST..
  Ⲟⲩϫⲁⲓ ϧⲉⲛ ⲡϭⲥ
• Kimberly

  January 8

  Thank you very much! Yes, he agrees and thinks it's a good idea for us to live in both countries and helped him to feel comfortable about leaving his family and friends as he says he loves his country despite the difficult living conditions. He spoke of us renting a place in Cairo next to the Embassy so I would feel safe and he also asked me if he should arrange his room in his house for us to stay but told me I would not be able to leave the house without him and there is no tourism or anyone accept Egyptian Christians and Muslims and he also said that he would probably be watched carefully by the government from me being...he lives in Sohag hours away from the larger cities and tourism but told me that it was my decision, he just cares about my peace and safety and says we probably could not live apart very long....his family is very excited to meet me and his sister offered for us to stay with her too. Thank you very much for the blessings and may God bless yours too!
• ophadece

  January 8

  God be with you and bless all what your hands reach out for.. Please mention me in your prayers always too..
  Ⲟⲩϫⲁⲓ ϧⲉⲛ ⲡϭⲥ
• Kimberly

  January 9

  Thank you and you too! Of course! I love praying for people!