Hello fathers and members,
I need some guidance/information between the marriage of a Greek Orthodox male and Egyptian Coptic Female. If we were to marry in say a Coptic church would we be able to go through both ceremonies Greek and Coptic? Would it be possible to have both priests in a Coptic church? Is that disrespectful? Would we be able to go through the holy trinity and reefs of the Greek tradition and also go through the crowning of the Coptic tradition?
If we were to have children after marriage of course Would they be able to partake in both churches? I know it’s frowned upon to baptize twice but is that even a thing?
I want to make her happy and marry in her church but I don’t want to lose my traditions and church with it. I also want to please my family just as she wants to please hers. Coptic traditions seem to be stricter(no offense) I just don’t want to disrespect anyone and I want to see what is possible and what is not. I do love this woman and would love to be crowned with her and go through my greek traditions with her as well.
Thank you.
Comments
To marry a Copt, your baptism into the Coptic Orthodox Church is first required :)
If you convert, convert because of your personal relation with Christ and ability to find Him more in the COC, not for marriage, as that is not even accepted.
+God Bless+
from greek (or any eastern orthodox) church, only chrismation is needed (holy oil), not baptism.
i was a church when a greek lady was chrismated who later married a Coptic orthodox man. she said she really liked how we explain everything well and 'take the faith seriously'.
some people think that means it is more 'strict', but that is only if you feel forced to do it. if you fast and pray because of your great love for God, it does not feel strict at all.
if you look at any of the writings of saint john chrysostom (one of my big heroes, who was patriarch of constantinople/istanbul), you can see that he continually reminded the people (in the greek language) that they should give to the poor and love God and come to church out of a desire to know God and to tell others about Him, not to fulfil any obligation or feel compelled.
he is famous in our church and I strongly recommend you read his sermons and booklets, many of which are available in english online. you can see then some of what our traditions have in common.
jojohanna is right in saying that you should not change churches for the sake of a romantic relationship. ask God what is best for your life, and if you make Him your priority, then everything else will become much more straightforward and you will know which direction to take.
if my advice sounds strange, then ask God to show Himself to you and spend time seriously studying the Bible and the works of the early church fathers like saint basil, saint cyril (x2) and saint Athanasius to see what i mean. knowing God is more about personal experience than following a particular tradition, although the orthodox churches have (all) preserved the correct faith (straight belief) that explains God's relationship with people adequately.
in some places (eg syria, and I think alexandria as well), mixed couples can attend either church, but that is not currently the case in most diaspora churches (you write in english, so I think you may be in an english speaking country).
so speak to both priests and meet people from both churches to see where you will make your home (could be either) and certainly you can attend services in both churches when you wish. but currently in the diaspora, you would not be able to take holy communion in both churches, so you need to pick one.
even when my dream comes true and we have full communion (i know a priest in the greek church who is also eagerly waiting to give me holy communion!) then you need to have one 'base' or 'home' church where you spend most of your time. this is for the sake of the unity of the family.
we have an enemy who loves to create conflict and division, so don't give him a change by starting married life comparing you priests and getting into a 'my church is better than yours' competition. you need to have a church you both call 'mine'.
above all speak to God. He knows and loves you, he took on a human nature and suffered terribly for you. He defeated death and the power of the enemy for you. surely He will guide you in the right path when you come to Him humbly, repenting of the bad things we all do, and asking His help as you put your life in His hands.
Thank you again. Any other information regarding marriage between us that I would need to know is very much appreciated.
And why is their a split between our churches? Does it have to do with the bishops? Also a question I have is why can the males not sit with the females? Is it because of how life was back in the day in Egypt? I’m sorry for all these question I’m just very interested.
The Dialogue between Eastern Orthodox and Oriental Orthodox Churches International Edition
And she has a wonderful book from 2005 which is an introduction to the Coptic church. It's very concise and practical compared to many books within our church, because she is fluent in both English and French. So, the translation is extremely easy for a westerner to grasp. It's called:
The Coptic Orthodox Church: A Brief Introduction to Its Life and Spirituality.
I highly recommend it for an Eastern Orthodox person to learn about the Coptic church.
As for our separation, here is a YouTube with Mrs. Chaillot at a Anglican seminary in Toronto, with an Eastern Orthodox Priest and guests from the Oriental Orthodox family. Play past when the female Pastor talks and then they begin to explain about the relationship between the churches.
Good Luck!
i think that is just in egypt unfortunately.
however, since the virus outbreak, the churches seem to be making a little more progress.
people are just so happy to see another orthodox Christian from any orthodox church since they were kept away from church for so long.
also in my church, we no longer have gender separation in liturgy as we can fit in more people (keeping the rules of keeping different households apart) if families sit together. i doubt we will go back to it after this (at least in countries where it normal for men and women to sit together).
Ⲟⲩϫⲁⲓ ϧⲉⲛ Ⲡϭⲥ
Before Covid-19 I had the blessing of serving every week, a majority of the time on the Altar. After, I attend another parish and do not dress. Seeing how my son was acting and trying to sing along with the hymns and screaming in between, I'm in favor of having parents sit together.
I am more upset about electric candles being used on the lecture and being held on the Altar, than men and women being separated. Now I have The Offspring song stuck in my head.
I am so pleased someone else is making this argument other than myself. A few years ago I argued against electric candles (as they are commonly used in the church in Newcastle where I used to go in the past) in addition to the use of iPads, mobile phones and TV screens within the church and surprise surprise I received a deluge of criticism and sarcasm.. Oh well, I look forward to more of that now that I have mentioned it..
Ⲟⲩϫⲁⲓ ϧⲉⲛ Ⲡϭⲥ
just remember that in some churches (e.g. in cyprus), the sides are switched.
so always sit near the back till other people come in, so you can check you are on the correct side!
i could put up with electric candles (and flashing LED lights on the icons - urrgh!) if only we could have full communion between all the orthodox churches...
As for flashing LED lights on the icons.. I hope that’s a joke. The Saints deserve more honor than flashing rainbow lights. And in the same vein, I’ve seen more and more altars with LEDs attached to the underside. Is this allowed? It seems to me like desecration of the Altar.